There's a constant tug of war for our souls going on. Sometimes it really does feel like the old cartoons with a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other, both sides providing pretty good arguments of why we should do (or not do) a particular thing. One specific way that the spirit world is fighting over us is through our words.
"All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison." James 3:7-8
Our words have power. They can build people up, or they can tear you down. The entire third chapter of James talks a lot about controlling our tongue. In fact, the benefits of being careful of your words are found all throughout the bible, both the old and new testaments.
Obviously there are huge psychological effects of yelling and going off on someone. You can cause lifelong trauma to a child by lashing out in anger. You can lose the trust of someone who cares about you when you go off on them. But did you know the words we use can also change the chemistry in our brains? When we speak positively it increases cognitive reasoning and strengthens areas in our frontal lobe. When we speak negatively we are stopping certain stress reducing chemicals from being produced. When stress hormones flood our system it interrupts our ability to function normally. There have even been studies done that show plants will flourish when you speak positively to them. Even our pets react to the inflections in our voice.
The words we say aloud are almost like incantations, calling out to the spirit world. What if every time we lie, or say something in anger, gossip or criticize someone, we are calling out to the spirit realm and basically luring evil spirits to us? We are like magnets and how we speak determines what kind of spirits are going to be attracted to us. Ever wonder why everything is always going wrong in your life? It might help if you start with holding your tongue and seeing what happens. Demons can't read your mind, but they are lingering around like the pathetic sad sacks they are, waiting to latch on to someone who is spiritually weak. Don't give them any extra opportunities. They have more than enough.
"The tongue has the power of life and death." Proverbs 18:21
Our words have the potential to build up and encourage someone, or they can tear someone down and leave lasting scars. Sometimes we speak without thinking. We get so angry that our words seem to spew out at an accelerated rate, and at the moment it feels good. But once you realize what you've said you might be ashamed and want to take it back, but guess what, you can't. You can be forgiven for your words, but it's not very easy to forget.
"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Proverbs 15:1
It takes a lot of self control to remain silent when you feel that burning desire to put someone in their place and tell it like it is. But what would that accomplish? Absolutely nothing. When someone makes you angry, instead of hearing what they are actually saying you are busy formulating your response. Keeping your mouth shut will help preserve your relationships and maintain your sanity, because you won't be embarrassed or ashamed of what you said, and you might even actually hear what the other person was saying. Perhaps they even have a very valid point. We can make a huge difference when we learn to talk less, and listen more.
We need to be intentional with our words. We can't justify ourselves by saying we are having a bad day, or that the other person was rude to use first. Like any other bad habit, learning to control your words doesn't happen overnight. It can be a daily battle and is something you should definitely seek help from the Lord over. I once heard a devotional that really stuck with me. The speaker said that when we open our mouths we should ask these three questions: Is it necessary? Is it true? Is it kind?
"The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint, and whoever has understanding is even-tempered. Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues." Proverbs 17:27-28
"Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity." Proverbs 21:23
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