the end is the beginning

Sometimes it feels like society is constantly looking for new ways to become offended. Each and every week seems to present new ideas that are offensive. And every week it seems to be a little more insane. I have a hard time wrapping my head around this phenomenon of everyone getting offended by everything all of the time. And now this week- getting the correct answer in math makes you a white supremacist!?! You know it's a choice, right? You literally have the power to NOT be offended. Practicing detachment is a good skill to master. You don't have to carry the weight of the world. You can let things go and just not care. It's also good to periodically remind yourself that the world doesn't revolve around you. Sometimes we forget.  I think the real mystery for me is just not understanding why anyone dedicates their time and energy over being upset when they don't have to. I guess it's an asset (or maybe a character flaw,) but I was born with this ability to ju

I never imagined I would homeschool my kids. In fact, I anxiously awaited the days when they both would be in school for seven hours a day. Then we took Gage out of public school temporarily, in order to travel. And here we are six years later, and I'm still homeschooling. This is proof alone that the Lord has a sense of humor and often laughs at our plans. Because this was definitely not ever my plan.  I have to admit that this is a calling from the Lord. It is not anything I ever desired or even felt qualified to do. Over the years I have brought this up in prayer regularly. I've asked the Lord to give me wisdom and patience. I questioned whether or not my kids would be left behind somehow, and if I was somehow doing them a disservice. Every single time I brought up these concerns, I was always left with this peace and this feeling of "Trust me. They will be fine. This does not even matter." For reference, I have never audibly heard the voice of the Lord. Coming fro

It is Thursday. We haven't left the house since Sunday. It kind of has that surreal feeling of the beginning of the pandemic when people were extremely fearful. We don't get too much ice or snow here, so it really is a big deal when things shut down for more than one day. I've been going outside throughout the day to get Joey some exercise, but the novelty is wearing off. I definitely wouldn't want to live anywhere that gets lots of snow each winter. It is pretty though, and it makes our grassless yard look less offensive. It's going to be a massive mud pit as soon as it thaws, but hopefully we can grow some grass in the very near future. I am excited to see our new house when the trees have leaves. It's going to be such an awesome canopy.  Monday night our power went out. Fortunately we had just finished dinner. Unfortunately we had set up a peacock account so that we could finish watching The Office with the kids. Gage suggested he try and teach me and Peppy h

I was talking to someone at the food bank about how I was entering a foreign new stage in motherhood, where neither of my children needed me to do things for them in the extent they used to. I told her I had way more free time now and needed to invest in more hobbies. She asked if I missed them being younger, and without thinking I immediately said, "no." She is in her late 50s and has no children. She is a new volunteer and I don't know her well enough to know whether or not she had wanted children and not been able to have them, so I hope I didn't offend her. I tried to explain myself and told her that I just enjoyed my kids more now that they are older. I do have a big imagination, but sitting in the floor playing cars all the time didn't always come naturally to me. It definitely got tedious after a while. I like being able to have real conversations with them now. I like having worthy opponents in games. And man, are both of my kids really great competitors w

Peppy's job takes him in the Walmarts all over north Alabama. He found some cheap work pants on clearance one day and couldn't find them in any of the other Walmarts he went in, so he asked if I would see if they had any online. I found them and had to create an account to order them. When I went to 'proceed to checkout' there was a list of suggested items for me to purchase, which were all the things I had bought in store, with cash, the previous Monday. And it wasn't a generic suggestion like Diet Coke or Lays potato chips. It was a specific face cream, these lentil chips I've become a little obsessed with, and brown mascara. I thought that was more than a little strange, definitely not a coincidence. Somehow they were data mining when I was in the store using the self checkout with my phone in my purse. A couple days ago I went to track the package of Peppy's pants. If I know something is arriving that won't fit in the mailbox I try to put Joey up. Ou

Life has been creeping along normally lately. I've been volunteering more shifts at the food bank the last two weeks because I have been training a new person for the accounting desks. We have lots of trouble with those spots because it is more like a real job, and I think many people don't want that responsibility when it comes to volunteering. I get that. But I have met one of my closest friends at the accounting desks, so I'm not going to complain. And the new person that I'm training referred me to a 26 part series on Revelations that was done at the church she attends a few years ago. I haven't started on that yet, but hopefully I can begin to listen soon. It's worth mentioning that it has been almost a year since my last major depressive episode. So that's exciting to me. This time one year ago my journal was filled with paragraph upon paragraph about how I wanted to die. Sometimes it's hard for me to come to terms with the fact that the mentally u

Being a christian is not easy. It calls for radical change in your life. You can't claim to be a christian and remain stagnant. You can't believe that Yeshua is who he says he is and continue in your life of sin. This is why Jesus says you must be born again, You must willingly surrender your old life in order to be transformed into something new. And it's not easy. Change is hard, and you have to die to your self. Following Jesus requires a commitment. We have to give up the control of micromanaging every aspect of our lives. We have to turn away from our own desires and allow God's will to be done in our lives. When we do this we will flourish. We will become courageous and bold and free to be the people we were created to be. We will be able to throw off the cares of this life and live with the peace that passes all understanding, because we know that this life is a vapor. There is so much freedom in this knowledge. The amazing stuff awaits us on the other side, but

 "But blessed are your eyes, for they see, and for your ears, for they hear. For truly I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it." Matthew 13:16-17 I love the bible. Sometimes this is still surprising to me. I never imagined that one day I would grow up to be a person that cherished the scriptures. When I became a born again christian I immediately had this desire to learn everything about Jesus that was available, and where to start but the actual inspired words of God? The first time I read the entire bible it changed my life. I read it from beginning to end, and prayed that I would read it with an open mind and without preconceived notions. Afterwards, it was the first time that life had actually made sense to me. What I have learned from reading the bible on my own is that some well-meaning people in my life have gotten some things about Jesus and love WRONG, because they

I've believed we were headed towards a one world government for basically as long as I could understand it. I didn't always think it would be in my lifetime, although the past seven or eight years really opened me up to that possibility. When the pandemic hit I thought, here we go. I can see where this is headed. And when I saw the promotional video for the Great Reset, my initial response was "Wow, this is going much faster than I expected." If they are already releasing promo videos, then they have been hard at work behind the scenes for some time now. If you are unfamiliar with the World Economic Forum, they were founded in 1971 and are an elite organization that decide on social and economic policies on a global scale. Every year they host a meeting in Switzerland with thousands of global political and business leaders, economists and celebrities to discuss worldwide issues.  Kind of reminds me how they had Event 201, the pandemic simulation, backed by the Bill an

The World Economic Forum met last week and released this promotional video. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to your future. I present to you, the Great Reset. I like the blatant brainwashing of flashing words that evoke a sense of security while talking about how we are headed straight towards the New World Order. That way every time we hear the term 'great reset' we are subconsciously given the warm and fuzzies. Good job guys! Mind control 101. I also thought it was smart that they instantly debunked the conspiracy idea. By being so straightforward they gain our trust, while immediately discrediting anyone who disagrees. Gaslighting 101  I had thought things had been a little quiet for a while.  I think 2020 was only the prologue. 

Here's my cocktail of super fun vitamins and supplements.  Coming in on six weeks of lingering coronavirus symptoms, but fortunately I am physically pretty well. A couple weeks ago I finally stopped feeling the need to take a mandatory nap around 1 pm every afternoon. I love to nap. I'm like a cat in the sun, but this was different. This was like a tide crashing over me and pulling me under to where I had to stop everything and sleep. I am ready for bed at around 8 pm every evening though. It's as if my brain reaches it's daily capacity and is like "Ya done!"  Really the only physical symptom I have is that I will spontaneously feel some pressure on my chest, like a weight is on top of me. Which is kind of weird because I never had any trouble breathing while I actually had the virus. My muscle aches and headaches finally went away (hopefully for good) last week, although some days I do just feel *off.* My sense of smell finally came back (although I do smell