adhyperactived

The last few days I've been so restless. It's been terrible. My mind can't concentrate on anything. If I am not doing something (like cooking, working at the food bank, or cleaning) it is actually usually blank, which is a first for me. I don't even really want to be typing this, but if I'm not sitting and actually thinking and typing, I am pacing my driveway like a tiger. Owsley and I counted it once, and from our house to the road and back is a four minute walk. So I'm literally doing this four minute walk so many times a day. And it's never just one walk and done. It's like walking back and forth for thirty minutes at a time, with all this restless energy. I'm used to ADD without the hyperactive. Now I'm experiencing it in such a restless way that I want to rip out of my body. It's not anxiety. It's something completely different. 

Monday it rained and I was stuck inside. I played games with Owsley and we watched Sweet Tooth and watched POV rollercoaster videos, but I still had all this restlessness. I just hung out under the carport for a little while because I just needed to be outside. It might sound weird. But it was almost like breathing. 

Yesterday I volunteered at the food bank and had to run some errands, but around 3 pm the restlessness was back. I'm hoping this is hormone related. If it is, at least I'll know in a couple of days. 

I know I probably sound crazy. But I am just typing a random stream of consciousness. Do with it what you will.

 Here are some fun fact about my brain since covid:

1. I used to pride myself in being a wonderful natural speller. I am not at all anymore. And I'm slower typing than I used to be because I can't remember how to spell words that I don't use often. Fortunately I'm usually still pretty fast at typing regular words. Like 10th grade level words.

2. Sometimes when I type now I just randomly capitalize a word that would make absolutely no sense to capitalize. 

3. I always go back and proofread because sometimes there will be a word substituted for something that makes absolutely no sense and I have no clue why I typed it. 

I wonder how many more people feel like me, because I know I'm not the only one. My brother told me that he forgot the gym code he's uses at least three times a week.  Is this irreversible? Or is this for good?

It's almost 6 am. I do have a lot of things going on today- making pancakes for breakfast, taking the car for an oil change, coming home and cleaning, planting some new vegetables I got yesterday, church tonight. So hopefully that will be enough to keep the hyperactive body at bay.