a list of things to look forward to

I finally got around to printing out pictures from the past couple of years. Unfortunately I completely cracked the glass of this particular frame. I think there is a metaphor for life in there somewhere. And even though they haven't been hung yet, it is nice to have some new family pictures to put up in the house. Despite....everything....we have had a nice year. Sometimes I feel ashamed for feeling low because I literally have no reason. My family and I are so blessed.

Happy New Year! Or maybe I should say Happy Groundhog Day, and welcome back to more of the absolute very same. There's always the potential for everything to go suddenly downhill even further, so you know, whatever, welcome to 2022. But since the calendars have changed, what is the real date? It is not even the actual beginning of a new year if we are talking about the original very first day, or even the original very first calendar. Sometimes when I really dwell on the fact that what we have been taught to be truth is so far from actual reality, my brain begins to spin like a terrible vomit inducing carnival ride. 

Anyway, the new year has changed for me over the years. I've never made resolutions, because I never keep them, but the way we have celebrated has changed. My mom's birthday is today, so growing up she always threw these big New Year's Eve parties. My brothers and I were relegated upstairs, while the adults played loud games downstairs. The only thing that appeased us was the bribe of plates of junk food. As we got older we made our own plans and did things with friends. I never understood the pomp surrounding the new year. It's just a day. I never understood the point of the ball dropping either , or why you are supposed to kiss someone at midnight, (and I absolutely hate fireworks), but I always participated with the Happy New Year hats and noisemakers. Because when you are young and don't fit in, sometimes you just pretend. I spent a great deal of my early life pretending. 

I would personally like to forget the New Year's Eve parties I attended when I was 19 and 20. Oooofff.

I met Peppy when I was 21 and we always stayed up for traditions sake, but we never went to any parties. Although since I am not a night owl I always had to uh, participate in some sort of manufactured stimulant to stay awake. If you know what I'm saying. I have watched many balls drop from many different cities and time zones, from the comfort of my own home, always asking "WHAT IS THE ACTUAL POINT OF THIS?" Some sort of ritual I'm sure. Collective consciousness power or something. I did watch a youtube video of last year's virtual ball drop from the Seattle Space needle and I don't know if if was the covid stupor, but it creeped me out a little. 

When Peppy started ubering four years ago it became my out. I am now generally asleep by 9:30 on any given night that he ubers. And now that the kids are older, they can stay up a bit later if they want, without having to be tucked in or read to. It's not like we ever sat around and watched the ball drop as a family. My kids have always loved sleep as much as I do and we never even had a NYE tradition at all. Last night I watched The Giver. I had never read the book before, but I really enjoyed the movie. And then I was in bed before 10. Man, do I know how to party or what. 

My friend Sara asked me to share a word for this upcoming year on her podcast, and the first word that came to mind was 'contentment.' In Philippians 4, Paul, who is prison, is writing to the Philippians and he claims to have learned to be content in any given situation. And I think that is vital for life right now. I think it is especially important to point out that he says he learned contentment. It wasn't something that came naturally to him. Most of the time we are only content when things are going the way we expected. I would also like to note that happiness and contentment are two completely different things. Happiness is fleeting, but contentment is a mindset. 

Paul also suggests that we focus our thoughts on whatever is lovely and good. There is a lot of evil in the world right now. Much of it is out in the open, but there is also evil disguised as good, which I believe is even more harmful. (My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge. Hosea 4:6) But on the flip side, I believe most of us do have good things in our lives that we can focus on. Sometimes we might have to forcefully shove away the negative fog trying to creep in (probably caused by chemtrails), but more than anything, if we have a relationship with Christ, how can we not be content? How can we not set our minds on him, and not this crumbling world? Remember why we are really here. It is not to live a selfish life, but we are here to minister to and love others. 

There is a song by Courtney Barnett, that I don't think I've ever listened to in its entirety, but it is called something like "Make a List of Things to Look Forward to," and maybe, on some days, we just remain content as we look forward to eternity. I look forward to no more sadness and evil. No more bad days. I look forward to meeting our Creator face to face. I look forward to seeing family that have gone on before me, and meeting friends that I never got to meet in real life while on earth. That is my list of things to look forward to. (Also very much looking forward to my niece or nephew being born in the next couple of days.)

While we may not be in a literal prison, this life can figuratively feel like one, and the walls are only going to continue to close in. Paul understood suffering, and he knew that it also produced endurance, character, and hope. These are all things we will need in order to survive whatever comes next. 

And with that uplifting thought, I pray this year brings you good health, positive things to think on, and an even more intimate relationship with Christ.