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morning stream of consciousness

Not much has been going on here lately. In fact, the past couple of weeks have seemed to have gone by incredibly slowly. I've mostly been (trying to) read. I got halfway through Children of Men and then my brain shut off. I can't tell you how many times I have had to stop reading books over the past year. I used to feel a little guilty stopping a book halfway, even if I wasn't enjoying it. But now I can be thoroughly enjoying a storyline when my brain decides to make the decision for me. Womp Womp. At least I don't care. At the food bank a couple weeks ago one of our volunteers got upset about something and she said, "I wish I didn't have any emotions like you, Deanna." It has its upsides, but at other times it is incredibly surreal and lonely.

I have been reading up on Vril Society and droning and cloning. I am not sure I can get behind reptilian overlords, although the idea that we all have parasites that influence us in certain ways is very believable, because these types of things regularly happen in nature. And it is interesting that we give our pets and livestock antiparasitic medicines but we don't take them.

I was cooking dinner on Tuesday and came back into the kitchen and Gage had started reading about the Vril parasites. He's always ready to discuss an idea or conspiracy with me. He uses my laptop for his schoolwork and if I ever leave any tabs open that he finds interesting, he's going to read them. 

Last night the kids and I watched the remake of The Witches. I love all Roald Dahl books and I have enjoyed the movie adaptations as well. The Witches was one of my childhood favorite movies, but the remake was kind of a letdown. I like Octavia Spenser and I really didn't mind the setting taking place in 1950s Alabama. I thought Anne Hathaway's monologue as the Grand High Witch was very difficult to understand, and the whole movie actually seemed a little rushed. Also Luke's pet mouse was not supposed to previously have been a human. That change in the story was pretty stupid. Sometimes I wonder why they remake these movies and don't come up with new ideas instead. Maybe no one has any new ideas anymore. 

I recently watched the Bob Ross documentary on Netflix. I found myself crying happy tears (only you know, not feeling them.) Even though the guy has been dead for 30 years, I could literally sense Bob's love and joy at painting through the screen. Made me understand a little more how love transcends and can last forever, because his love was still alive. I had this realization that his joy was so palpable to me because the spirit of joy seems noticeably absent whenever I go in public. Everything seems to have this grey shadow cast over it. There are still people who are the exception to this, and you can sense the ones who still have a light shining in them. But as a whole, humanity seems to have lost its vibrance. People seem so defeated. I've always had difficulty looking people in the eyes (it is SO intimate!) but now that I am fearless I go out of my way to look at people and smile and even (gasp) talk to them. I have had strangers tell me that it is so nice to see someone smile, so I'm not the only one noticing this stuff. Over the past year I have had more conversations with strangers in the grocery store than I have had in my whole life. We had a slow day at the food bank on Tuesday and I found myself in front of everyone talking conspiracies, and I am not a public speaker. I honestly do not remember anything that I said other than "Your government doesn't care about you." But I do remember being so pleased that I wasn't stumbling over any words and could put together a coherent thought out loud. That alone was exciting to me.  

I also watched Unrest on Netflix, and would strongly recommend it to everyone. It is a documentary about people living with ME/CFS. This documentary really moved me, because many in the longhaul community are being slowly being diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. It really opened my eyes to how inflammation from a simple virus can destroy your body. It was heartbreaking, but I believe it should be watched by anyone who knows someone dealing with a chronic illness. 

I was talking to my younger brother yesterday, who is a pilot, and he told me that 5g was actually affecting the planes and would show incorrect altitude when they got too close to the towers. Just last week he was telling me that he didn't think 5g would cause any problems at all, so it was interesting to hear his take after the roll out. I asked him what about all the other countries that already had 5g, and he didn't have an answer for that, other than saying US technology is probably 10-15 years behind Russia and China. 

Now you know what has been going on with me this past week-absolutely nothing. But that is ok. No news is good news. 

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