*Today is the big day for my psychiatrist appointment. I also learned that this particular doctor was previously a neurologist, so I hope and pray that she is able to give me some direction. Is this something I just need to somehow get over and move on with my life? Or do I need to be more patient and wait? Or am I going to become Bruce Willis? Who even knows. My appointment is at 10:30 and although I'm not nervous, I'm just ready to get it over with. I've never done this before. I don't know what to expect, and I don't particularly like situations that I am unfamiliar with. I typically avoid most doctors unless it is necessary, and I guess that is what this has become.
Here is some (not so great) news. Yesterday I was getting all my information together and I pulled out the insurance card which only had Peppy's name on it. I ask him to double check that I was on this plan even if my name wasn't and he pulled up him email that said, "You have two cards. Even though your spouse's name is not on the card, they are still on the plan." However, after doing even more research it appears that I am NOT on the plan, and that Peppy has paid almost $3000 in extra insurance that I haven't even been covered on to begin with. This appointment was going to be out of pocket anyway, although potential prescriptions were not. Hopefully we can get this taken care of soon though, because I need to make that dentist appointment.
Seriously, my biggest hope is that she can give me advice or meds or something that can help me with this extreme lack of motivation involving every aspect of my life. Pre-covid I was still super ADD, but I feel like it was manageable. Now it is so laughable. (I laugh to keep from feeling despair. Laughter is my drug.) Last weekend I went and bought some crafting stuff because I thought maybe just seeing beads, pretty colors, mod podge and paints would inspire or motivate me, but it didn't. I just sat there and looked at them. And that was a big bummer. It is like not only has my dopamine been extinguished, but also all my creativity and imagination. It is also like I am incapable of learning new skills. I am a shell, and I cannot and do not want to live like this for the rest of my life.
*Tomorrow is one month until Universal. When we went in September the parks closed at 7 each night and it was still light out, so we didn't get to ride anything after dark. There is just something so cool about coasters at night and theme parks when they are lit up. While we are there this time they will be open until 9, so we are all excited to ride Hagrid, Velocicoaster and Rip Ride Rocket in the dark. They also have Poseidon's Fury back open, as well as their light shows and fireworks back up at night, so it will be cool to have new experiences on this trip.
*We are on Spring Break this week, even though we aren't doing anything. We've been playing board games and taking walks. Not too exciting, but we are headed to Florida to see Peppy's parents next weekend. We haven't been there since Thanksgiving. The kids are almost finished with their curriculum for the year anyway. Owsley and I even started with his algebra a couple weeks ago. I am still pretty surprised that 5th grade is when they introduce algebra now.
*I don't watch awards shows or really follow any celebrities, but the slap heard around the world has been talked about nonstop since Sunday. I watched a clip of it and my immediate thought was that it looked staged. And when I heard the backstory of Jada having alopecia, my brain immediately thought that maybe this was how they were priming people to accept major hair loss. I opened up Drudge this morning and an article on Wall Street Journal was about men being self-conscious about going back to work bald. Hmmmm....But then people on reddit conspiracy said that Pfizer sponsored the Oscars, and that they were also working on some alopecia treatments at the moment. So that would make sense too. Either way, whenever something stupid like that slap happens and all attention is suddenly focused on something trivial, you have to ask yourself why? Why do they want our attention on this? Why does this even matter? What is going on right now that they don't want us to see?
If this has been an actual slap, where were the security guards? Why was Will Smith allowed to sit back down? Why was Chris Rock smiling when Smith slapped him? And that 'slap' looked like something an old lady would do.
*Next week my SIL goes back to work and I get to start watching my nephew one day a week. It has been a long, long time since I watched a three month old for an eight hour day. I am excited to spend time with him, but I also would like to be able to focus because I'm going to need a good book to read (or something to do) when he naps. I saw some cool looking yarn and I would love to learn to knit, but I've tried that years ago and it just didn't make sense. Who knows though, it might make perfect sense to my brain now.
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