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my reflection, dirty mirror. there's no connection to myself.

We ended up going to see the Smashing Pumpkins last night and I'm glad we did. Peppy had asked me Friday if I was excited, and well, that is a hard thing for me to answer honestly because I don't ever feel any excitement about anything anymore. Logically I knew that I would regret it if I didn't go, but I just wasn't feeling it Friday night. But the more I thought about it, the more I decided we should just go. The tickets had already been purchased, I had been wanting to see them for over 25 years, and Peppy and I don't often get the chance to do anything alone anymore. 

We stood in a decent spot. It was closer to the back, but it was also in an area where people were not completely piled on top of each other. I didn't have anyone swinging beers into me all night long, so that was a good thing. 

They played a variety of old and new songs, fortunately a majority of them were older, and out of the new songs I only didn't recognize three or four of them. I would tell you a setlist, but since the concert was last night and my memory is like a vapor in the wind, it already has a dreamlike quality to it where you ask yourself, "Did that really happen?". I know they played Today, Zero, Bullet with Butterfly Wings, Tonight, Tonight, 1979, Cyr, Stand Inside your Love and absolute treats for me-Eye and Ava Adore.

I hadn't been to a concert since before the pandemic and I did dance a bit. I think that is what 12 year old Deanna would have liked. I leaned over and one point and told Peppy that feeling the speakers reverberate in my chest was the closest thing to adrenaline I've felt in a while. There was a good energy there last night too. It was mostly people around my age or a little older, all fans probably from their youth. 

My pictures aren't so great, and they really don't do any favors with how awesome the lighting looked. Billy Corgan had an Uncle Fester vibe going on, but hey, time makes you older, even children get older. I'm getting older too. (I would have enjoyed that cover song.)


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