I've been on Wellbutrin for about six weeks now and I really can't think of any negative side effects I'm having. Peppy says I am more engaged and less apathetic. Since being in Orlando I've been sleeping through the night again and not waking up at 2:30 each morning. I'm really thankful for that, because while I wasn't feeling sleep deprived, 20 hour days are very long. When you've already been awake for five hours by the time your family wakes up, it seems like it should be lunch time by then.
For the first time in over a year, I've been dreaming again. Maybe I always had been and just didn't remember, but for some reason I don't think that is correct. I feel like a part of my frontal lobe had been shut off and I just wasn't dreaming at all. Not dreaming was another part of my loss of self. I've always had vivid dreams and it was a huge part of who I am, so I am so glad that part of me has been reactivated.
I'm on my 40 day streak on Duolingo and I'm consistently in the top ten each week and get to level up. It is kind of amazing to me how my brain has been able to latch onto learning Spanish so much better than it ever did in high school. I am hoping eventually I will be able to translate to our Spanish clients at the food bank. We do have a guy who can translate, but he only available one day a week and it can get tricky to schedule our Spanish speaking clients on that one day he is there.
And speaking of the food bank....I am not sure if I ever mentioned it, but back in January our office manager was planning on moving on to other things and asked if I would be office manager. I turned her down because there was absolutely no way I could handle that. But she asked on a decent brain day and I told her that I would take over the scheduling for her. And then the next day was a bad brain day and I couldn't believe I had agreed to take over the scheduling. What was I thinking?!? Since starting this medicine I have been able to set aside dedicated time to work on the schedule. In the beginning it was overwhelming when people would text me requesting time off, or when someone would text at the very last minute that they couldn't come in that day. That has also become easier to me. Right now we don't have an office manager, and I'm thinking I might tell the director that I can do it, because 70% of the volunteers seem to already think I'm second in command.
In my last post I mentioned feeling like I have delayed emotions. My friend Stacy gave me a keychain that says "Sisters are God's way of making sure we never walk alone." I thought it was a very thoughtful gesture when she gave it to me, but it wasn't until that afternoon when I put it on my key ring that I started tearing up thinking of the amazing sisters in Christ that the Lord has put in my life. And then there's the whole thing with my grandmother. At dinner one night I didn't exactly feel grief or sadness, but I did feel the weight of the situation, and I did understand what it would mean to my grandaddy and my dad if grandmother does pass away. So it feels like my brain is slowly waking up and making connections.
It is becoming even easier to see what is probably permanent- memory loss and problems with words translating from my brain to my mouth.
When we were at Universal I was trying to tell Gage that he would have to go through a metal detector, but I said, "Gage will have to be electrocuted," which caused Owsley to spray diet coke out of his mouth. No one turned around, so hopefully he didn't hit anyone with mouth soda.
There have been similar instances, but that is the best one I can think of now. I am very thankful to be mostly me again.
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