the tooth fairy

Yesterday was my appointment with the endodontist. I don't do well with surprises. I can handle most things as long as I know what I'm getting myself into, so I read up on root canals and watched youtube videos of actual procedures. I read up on this particular doctor. She had some great reviews with patients claiming that she was able to find the problem when their regular dentist couldn't. I wasn't scared or nervous. I was actually a little excited because I was just ready for my tooth to be fixed.

They took a couple x rays and then the endodontist comes in and asks me questions about when I got my fillings and when I started having problems with my tooth. She looks in my mouth and tells me that she only sees one filling on the left side, not three, and was I absolutely certain that I had three fillings done on the left. She still doesn't believe me or the file that was sent from my dentist, so she calls their office and surprise, surprise, they confirm that yes I did have three fillings on the left. 

She looks again, "Oh! Hah! There they are."

She does the cold test on my teeth and it is obvious which one is giving me trouble. Then she probes at it with a metal pick which almost sends me jumping out of my chair. (Here's the thing, I do not balk at pain. I have a higher pain tolerance than anyone that I know. But tooth pain is almost impossible to ignore, especially when it goes into your ear canal and throbs all day long.)

"Well, your root is not diseased and you don't need a root canal. In fact, I don't see anything wrong and I don't know how this could be causing you so much pain. Sometimes our teeth just get sensitive after a filling and this might be something you just have to learn to deal with. Maybe it will eventually go away. If you want, I can give you a root canal anyway and that will kill the tooth so that you won't have any more pain." 

I told her I had to think about it. If that tooth is not diseased why would I want her to kill it, get a crown and possibly have it crumble in the future? She asked if I had any questions and I told her I was just confused because clearly something is wrong. She just kind of shrugged me off and gave me some sensodyne. That ten minute consultation was $160.

I got into my car and pulled into an empty part of the parking lot and burst into tears. (Don't worry, this is definitely something that pre-covid Deanna would have done. I think one reason that I prefer to be alone is that I know sometimes I might initially overreact at something and I just need to get that out of my system so I can move on. I always need time to process things on my own, without the opinion of anyone else.) I was so disappointed. I had been anxiously waiting for over two weeks for some resolution on this tooth to be told basically that it's all in my head. This is why I never go to the doctor. I understand that somewhere in the deep subconscious of my brain, I have some sort of traumatic issue that makes me afraid that medical professionals will not believe me, so I usually avoid them. I'm pretty sure I can pinpoint the root of this issue, but that's a story for another day. 

So here I am, having a momentary breakdown in my car. I wasn't ready to go home. I needed to cool down because I was confused, frustrated, angry, bummed out, and in LOTS OF PAIN from where she repeatedly prodded me with a metal pick. I drove to the shopping center next door and went in Ross and looked at all the fake plants and obnoxious shoes. That made me feel better.

So now I don't know what the next step is going to be. If my dentist couldn't find anything and sent me to a specialist who couldn't find anything, now what?