morning stream of consciousness

I understand why old ladies carry cats around like babies. There's something comforting about that weight in your arms, just like there's also something comforting about Sheldon laying over my legs right now. Animal therapy. Frankie and Sheldon are also a good audience for my pre-dinner shows. Last night I was belting out some Disney tunes and I'm pretty sure Sheldon's favorite was my rendition of Under the Sea. Frankie seemed more partial to the Gilligan's Island theme song.

I accidentally left my car running when I went into the gas station yesterday. This is the second time I've done this in two weeks. At least I locked it this time. When we were going to Six Flags we stopped at this huge truck stop/tourist trap of a gas station called Bucc-ees. We were inside for probably ten minutes before we went back to my car only to realize not only had I left it running, but I had also left my keys inside. 

I used to be so OCD about locking doors, making sure ovens were turned off, other dangerous hazards, etc. Now these things don't always come naturally to me. I asked Peppy what if I really am losing my mind. Joe Biden did say that in ten years so many people would have Alzheimer's and dementia. Maybe that was intentionally put into that speech. I don't think I'm getting any worse, in fact, physically I feel better and I have learned that as long as I stay on routine I can do pretty well. My brain is just so....flighty.

Yesterday the chess club started back up for the school year. I was glad Gage was still interested in going, and there were fourteen people there yesterday, as opposed to the five or six that would attend last year. He won 3/4 of the games he played, and I think maybe it was good for him to see that he's not as dumb as he thinks he is right now. Yes, we are not as quick as we used to be, but we still have brains. We just have to learn new ways to use them. Make new pathways and connections. 

He did play a song by one of his favorite artists for me a few nights ago while I was cooking dinner and told me to listen to the lyrics. The chorus said something like, "I would give anything just to feel something again." And I know this isn't some hormonal teenage angst. I know he is really not feeling anything. He has finally agreed to go see a doctor. I go back at the end of the month and I'm setting him up with my doctor. 

No one understands. I love my Memaw, but every single time she sees us she asks if we are "feeling normal yet," and I can't take it personally. How can you explain color to a blind person? You can't. How can you explain to someone that you look the same, but that everything inside your brain is different? And I feel like I am constantly having to be Gage's advocate, because if people don't believe me, they certainly don't believe him. I can see skepticism in people's eyes and I don't blame them. 

We go to a Weird Al concert on Friday and I'm excited about that. It is part of his vanity tour-which means no crazy costumes or props, and he will be singing his originals and not his parody songs. I looked up the recent set lists and it will be fun. His opener is comedian Emo Philips. Owsley is a BIG fan of obnoxious dad jokes, so this will be right down his alley. Plus, it is inside, with chairs, so that is always a major bonus for me. 

Picked up these impulsively for $2 at the grocery store yesterday. They are SO good. There are like 15 protein balls in each container. I don't think they gave me super energy or anything, but 10/10 would recommend.

Duolingo has been teaching me very useful phrases, such as, "We have two bathrooms in our house and I shower in the large bathroom." And, "Yes! I love to steal! It is very exciting!" I can't wait to use those in daily conversation.