This past Christmas was my two year birthday of catching covid and becoming a longhauler. I know it is all anecdotal and personal opinion, but I believe the vaccines were particular batches, like some were saline, some were mRNA, and some were something even more nefarious than the mRNA. Then, based on your own genetic factors your body would/could respond by fighting and protecting you from the spike proteins, or your body ends up betraying you and you end up with heart disease, sudden stage 4 cancer, fertility problems (that we will learn about in the future) or a plethora of fun and exciting long haul symptoms that seem to constantly change and evolve as well as differ in severity from person to person.
At the moment my biggest problem are the random rolling waves of nausea. To me, there are few things worse than feeling nauseous. This is a fairly new one that started back around the same time my trigeminal nerve struck up, so about seven or eight months ago. I can't figure out any triggers, only that it happens more frequently leading up to my period. I will be minding my own business and then out of nowhere I am figuratively punched in the gut with nausea and any smell that my brain finds offensive will just amplify it all. The best thing I can do is go sit outside and breathe fresh air. It often reminds me of being pregnant. One time I walked into Publix, smelled the seafood, and immediately felt like I was going to barf. Yesterday Owsley's watermelon gum was especially offensive to my olfactory senses.
Speaking of my trigeminal nerve, I have only had one crazy flare up since starting the LDN. I was eating a piece of carrot cake and bit down into an unbreakable pecan. It immediately began radiating in pain and for the next four days I had an intense ocular migraine, along with fullness in my ear, and nerve pain in the connecting tooth. I am glad that the LDN seems to have this problem mostly under control, because having one of those migraines every four to six weeks was crappy. I am curious about this particular problem because Peppy also has it on the same side of his face, and many members of the reddit longhaul group are having the exact same problems with that particular nerve. I think many of these longhaul problems are being caused by inflammation, a lot of my problems have gotten less severe since I started taking LDN. My random aches and pains have definitely been less noticeable and my brain actually feels lighter.
My memory is still bleh, but it is a little better and I can finally remember small strings of numbers and words. This was something I was afraid I might never be able to do again. I still sometimes lose my train of thought and often can't think of certain words, but this also seems to be happening less frequently. Mental math is still a big challenge for me. Math also seems to be harder for both of the kids when it used to come naturally to them. I also have to constantly remind myself that most people are not living this weird, carefree, dream-like life that I am. Sometimes I have to remind myself to have empathy, but it is getting easier. Object permanence is also still a big thing. If it isn't in front of me, it no longer exists. I already had this problem prior to covid, but it is soooo much worse now.
I have mentioned that Gage also often feels like he is an imposter and has taken over someone else's life. On Saturday Peppy downloaded 'You Don't Know Jack,' which is a game the two of us have played on and off our entire marriage, although we haven't played it in years. Gage came in and saw it pulled up on the TV and said, "Hey, I remember this." We used to play it a lot around the time Gage was five to eight years old. So now I'm wracking my brain for other stuff that happened during that time frame to see if he can pull himself back into his body with some memories. I acknowledge that this is going to be especially difficult for Gage, because prior to covid he was so much of a daydreamer that he usually didn't live in reality anyway, so I understand why he doesn't have many memories....because most of them were imaginary to begin with. But this is a positive thing, because that was the first time in two years he had admitted to remembering something. He has also been in a much better mood the past few weeks, so I'm praying all our brains are beginning to heal.
And this one is absolutely baffling to me. I can't do two digit multiplication in my head anymore, or concentrate on reading anything more than a page or two, but I can excel in Spanish? I'm as high as you can go on Duolingo, and I cannot even get my user picture to rotate. I tried, but then I didn't care anymore, so my picture has always been like that. Anyway, it is amazing to me that I am doing so well learning a new language when I had so much trouble with Spanish in school. Gage has mentioned that he has trouble doing brain puzzles that he used to be able to do, but now he can easily do the ones that used to give him more trouble. Maybe other areas of our brains are overcompensating for the broken parts.
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