an insiders guide to being insane

Hey, did you hear about Deanna? She has legitmately gone insane. But this world is upside down, so.....

The more people post old moon landing photos, the stranger it all looks. This looks like it was made of tin foil and cardboard, and I'm fairly certain that the astronaut has a mini fridge on his back. Ugh. I just don't know anymore. And I understand how insane it sounds to be like "Space is fake! This is all fake!" But that is literally where I am in life right now. 

In order to say space isn't real I basically have to deny all science and physics, and after giving it a lot of thought, I think I am ok with that. When I look around and see what it taught as 'science' and 'fact' these days, I believe it is safe for me to affirm we've been lied to about lots of things. I think about how I've always tried to be a decent human and I've done some terrible things. What about the sociopaths and psychopaths with no moral compass that rule the world? Is there a limit to the things a person without a conscience will do?

I've been thinking of a way to explain what it feels like in my brain, and I think I've finally figured it out. So, I am basically coexisting in my own realm that is parallel to this one, just a couple steps removed. The only time that I feel pulled into this world is when I am directly interacting with someone in person, and even then I am only in a small bubble of this reality. So imagine already feeling dissociated from reality and then suddenly having the only world you've even known pulled out from under you like a rug. To my brain, most of the time it feels like the four of us are the only ones in existence. It is not a terrible reality. Just a small one. But it does have a beautiful oasis of a yard and comes with two well behaved animals. 

Also, I don't know a single thing about Tucker Carlson, but I noticed in most of his pictures he's wearing a red Kaballah bracelet, so I'd proceed with caution. Anyone professing the true Christ shouldn't need a special charm to ward off evil spirits. You know the phrase 'the devil is in the details?' 

It's all a show. This whole thing is a stage, even Shakespeare said it. (Who might not have been a single person and more like a group of people. I have started questioning all of our heroes and people that the school system indoctrinated us with.)

I was also thinking about Jerry Springer yesterday after I saw that he had passed away. The Jerry Springer show is really what opened the door for degeneracy on public TV. It used to come on Fox at 4 pm, right after everyone got home from school. I think that show really helped mold my generation to accept abnormal and vile ideas, because that show (real or not) was sad, depressing, and disgusting. And yes, at the time I watched it. I was trying to explain the show to Gage, so I looked up 'best of' clips on YouTube and after a minute Gage said, "Why would anyone go on this show? This just makes me sad." I did often wonder how anyone could go on the show, even if the storyline wasn't real, because they still had to go home. People would know if you had been on the Jerry Springer show. Where was the shame? Weren't they embarrassed? 

Last week someone asked me, "Is that your kid, because y'all look just alike." And Owsley said, "Yeah, probably because of our big heads." I did have glasses on at the time, so we probably did look a lot alike. If she thought we looked alike she should spend some time around us, because our personalities are so similar sometimes when our obnoxious parts come out I feel sorry for anyone else around us. Sometimes we just spontaneously break into this beat boxing jam session where we just make noises. It must be horrible for anyone within earshot. I am impressed with the sounds he can make, and he is impressed with my whale, monkey, and dolphin sounds. You should hear us do the X Files theme. We have turned it into a two part harmony, and it is truly a work of art. 

Yesterday after the food bank I had to renew our tags. While we were waiting, this lady across from us asked if Owsley was getting his license. I don't think Owsley looks sixteen, but then last night I was taking this picture to showcase how fat Frankie looked and Owsley looked so much older. I can still see him in my mind without his two front teeth and in this picture I can see why a stranger might think he was old enough to at least get his permit. He definitely looks more mature than Gage did when he was twelve.

I never really end these posts. Much like in real life, I am the one to leave a social event without saying goodbye. I mean, not if I'm out with just one person. I'm not going to say, "I'm going to the bathroom," and never come back. But if I'm at a fellowship or something, I'm just going to slink out unnoticed.