nicotine therapy-the end

I remember towards the beginning of covid reading studies that suggested that nicotine could inhibit a cytokine storm in the lungs and prevent or lessen the severity of covid. These studies go all the way back to 2020. I am clearly no scientist or medical expert, so here's a study if you are curious about these cytokine storms and how they can help detox the body and help with inflammation. Otherwise, I would just be copying and pasting the entire article.

An entire week of nicotine therapy and my brain feels like a completely different brain than it was just a week ago. I can process things faster, I can multitask again, I can concentrate and focus. It is absolutely mind boggling and amazing. I was in even doing two digit multiplication in my head this morning and I COULD DO IT. Maybe you don't understand, but I haven't been able to do any mental math for over two years. My ability to spell has mostly returned. I am up and getting stuff done and I'm hoping and praying this feeling lasts now that the 7 day treatment is over. 

I am actually a little apprehensive to take a day off because I don't want to go backwards.

And because my mind is doing better, that automatically puts me in a better mood. I don't know how much of this is outward, since I'm such an inward person to begin with. But Peppy has noticed a change, so there has to be something to be seen from the outside. 

I do not remember the last time Peppy asked me how I felt and I could honestly answer that I felt good. I still have memory problems and I forget what I'm saying midsentence at times, and I have a gut feeling I'm going to have to deal with that the rest of my life. But if I can actually process things much closer to how I could prior to covid, I can happily live like that. I don't want to lose this because it has been so hard for me to be so dumb. To be consciously aware of how much more intelligent I used to be and how my common sense had flown out the window totally sucked. I often wished that I didn't remember how smart I used to be, because it could be very depressing if I dwelled on it. I know that sounds very prideful, but despite its ups and downs, my brain was always my favorite thing about myself.

I've had so much more energy this week, but like I've said, no doubt that is the stimulant and not due to any sort of detoxing. It wasn't so much that I was bouncing off the walls, but that getting up and getting stuff done didn't feel like trudging through sand. I didn't have to psych myself up just to do regular adult stuff.

These are the only things I'm taking right now, and I've taken both magnesium for headaches and a daily allergy pill for years, so that doesn't even count. I've tossed out all the other supplements and just take LDN, wellbutrin and NAC, and I'm wanting to start tapering down on the wellbutrin and see how that goes. It got me out of a negative spiral and returned me to my body, but it is clear to me now that I will have depressive episodes whether I am on medication or not, so there's really no point. This is just who I have always been and I know they won't last forever. I like to pretend that part of me isn't really me, but it is, and clearly wellbutrin doesn't make it vanish. I'm going to stick with the LDN because I've noticed a huge improvement in my trigeminal nerve problems and inflammation. I believe the NAC helps with detoxing the body, so I'm going to keep that one for now too.

Uhhh...ok. So I won't wear a patch tomorrow and I am going to hope and pray that this mental clarity lasts. I don't know how it worked. I didn't even expect it to work so well. It is a bit surreal. My ability to focus and read again has been amazing. I know there's still so much missing that was there before, but this is the closest I have felt to the old me in almost two and a half years.