stream of consciousness

Peppy went to a concert last night and the last thing I said to him before he left was "I hope you don't get shot." I wasn't being sarcastic either. The amount of random shootings in the most random places has been happening nonstop the last few weeks. Shootings when people go to the wrong door. Shootings when a child's ball goes into the wrong yard. Peppy sent me a reddit link about Nashville road rage, and the amount of commenters that had personally experienced someone waving a gun at them while they were driving was shocking. 

The Lousianna shooter manifesto came out and apparently their motive was to highlight the mental health crisis and show how easy it was to buy a gun and commit a mass murder. So...he was teaching us a lesson? I call BS. This is too coincidental. Maybe he did write that stuff, but maybe he was also remotely influenced to write all the correct buzzwords about gun control and mental health.

I don't think this is about gun control. The gun control thing is a total sham. As Americans we've had weaponry as toys since we were children. Toy guns are still sold in stores, so they can cut that garbage. If you really want gun control you'd start by removing the childhood indoctrination that playing with guns is cool.

I don't think this is (completely) a mental health issue either. Clearly there are some mental illnesses and medications involved in some of these shootings. But as crazy as it sounds, I think the graphene is starting to pile up in some people and they are being 'turned on.' Like humanity has unknowingly become sleeper cells, just waiting to be activated. I am ready to accept how insane that sounds. 

I'm not going to live in fear, but I do pray every day for my family's safety. And I pray that we don't fall under the influence of however they are controlling people. These patents do exist. Graphene in our bodies has been proven to be true. We are all susceptible to being remotely influenced. It sounds absolutely crazy, but it is reality and 100% factual. Sadly, most people are already unthinking sheep who don't even need to be remotely controlled to follow in line. They just do it without thinking about why they are doing it. 

There is currently a trial going on for a murder that was committed four years ago. A thirteen year old boy killed his father, stepmom, and three siblings. A local religious teacher told me to my face that they had been called for jury, and that even if they were picked they were going to lie and say they didn't know him and they weren't going to say they thought he was guilty. I asked this person wasn't that illegal? And they said, "I'm not going to tell anyone." I'm thinking, You just told me! I wasn't even going to mention it here, but they weren't picked for jury duty, and I thought it was a good example of me personally witnessing an extreme morality change in someone. I don't think this is due to lockdowns because where I live really didn't change any. Maybe some people were scared of covid, but in my small town nothing changed. Our lives didn't change, but now people are changing and it is not a natural progression. There are even more obviously schizophic posts than normal on r/conspiracy. 

Completely changing the subject. Pretend there was a commercial break or something.

Yesterday on the way home from the food bank, Owsley pushed his hair over to the side and then started laughing like a maniac because he said that he looked like Peppy. When he got home he said, "See I've got your bald spot and everything." Apparently he thinks a receding hairline is a bald spot. Also, Owsley has gone through a growth spurt lately, but he is not THAT tall. He was standing on his tip toes and Peppy was slouching. I don't know if I'm ready for both of my kids to be taller than I am. Thats weird. 

Owsley then told me he never realized how big his head was until he pushed his hair back like that. HAHAHAH. I had forgotten about how we used to call him Bowling Ball Head because he would ram into us with his head that literally felt like a bowling ball. That comes from my side of the family. I actually appreciate having a big head whenever I wear my hair in a ponytail because I am guaranteed to never look like a pinhead. It's more like a helium balloon, increase the helium depending on how many carbs I've recently eaten.

                   

Owsley is so good on his one wheel. I'm always taking him to some park or trail so that he can ride. His top speed is 20 mph, which is pretty crazy to think about. So I don't think about it. He's always been a thrill seeker. I remember him wanting to go to the veeeeeeeeery edge of the mountains in all the National Parks when he was five. Moms of adrenaline junkies learn early on that they just have to not think about the 'what ifs.' You cannot quell a thrill seeker. At least he's seeking his thrills legally.

My dad has been teaching Gage to drive. Peppy and I have offered so many times, but he says no. He says he is "suspicious" of me and Peppy suggesting he get his license and get a job. (I guess he gets his suspicion and skepticism naturally, but he's got nothing to be paranoid about here.) As former teenagers, we try to explain to him the freedom in being able to drive and being able to make your own money. But I think this is one of those things he has to learn on his own. Kind of like how I stopped trying to tell him that music is in the ear of the beholder every time he would say dubstep was the only good music. A few days ago Owsley said some kind of music sucked and Gage said, "No. I have learned in my music theory class that all music is good. It just depends on lots of variables, like the person listening, or the generation they were born, etc. etc. blah, blah." I just kept my mouth shut. It's not like I've been trying to get that point across to him for years. 

Anyway, the only way my dad gets Gage to practice is to catch him off guard and Gage is respectful enough not to tell my dad no. I think it's funny. I know it hurts Peppy's feelings that he isn't teaching Gage, but Gage might have been 30 before he allowed that to happen. Yeah, my dad will have to teach him because there's no way Gage is leeching here at 30 years old without a job. Peppy always has Owsley. Owsley would drive right now if he could. 

We are now at that great time of the year where all the trees have leaves again and you cannot see my neighbor's house from the kitchen window. And to know that this is just the beginning and in a couple months our entire yard will be engulfed with a canopy of green. I love it. Yesterday I was laying on my lounge chair on the back deck and I looked up and saw the bright blue sky with all the green, and the tree trunks almost looked black because of the sun. It was beautiful, and it was shocking to acknowledge that something was beautiful because it has been a while since I have been moved by something aesthetically pleasing.