in the end, it doesn't even matter

A year ago I was still taking that hour long weekly class on the book of Revelation. I only know this because I remember it was Halloween. I only remember this because my nephew came by and I snuck away from my zoom meeting. I have a picture somewhere. 

I ended up ghosting that class. I admit that it is immature for an almost 40 year old woman to do something like that. I have no excuses. I just wasn't on the same page as the direction the class was going, and it was confusing to me because now it is so much harder for me to process information sometimes. Plus, I was also given freedom of my heart and mind from searching out signs concerning Revelation. I do believe we are in the end times, but I no longer have this craving to put puzzle pieces together. My relationship with God is much more important to me than understanding where all the pieces fit. I know where I am going, and no matter what the rest of my life holds in store, like Chester Bennington once said, "in the end, it doesn't even matter."

Only with the Holy Spirit will that book make any sense anyway, and even then you also have to have a deep foundation of real history, and so much of that has been removed from our knowledge. Trying to know times and seasons can make a person go crazy. 

Sometimes I wonder how long I'll be allowed to have this blog open. I don't think I'm special, but I do think that soon whatever free speech is left on the internet is going to be ripped away for good. 

Whoever is reading this right now, if you don't know God, I plead with you to turn to him. Nothing on this earth is ever going to make sense anymore. Nothing on this earth will ever fill that one void that you can't seem to fill, no matter what you do. Nothing else even matters. The world is passing away and every single person will have to be accountable for their actions (or inaction.) We are eternal souls living in a temporary shell with so many limitations. Every one of us will shed that shell one day and see how all of this was just the dream.

This life has never held much for me. When you are a person who feels things so deeply and questions things not many people do, life can be lonely and filled with emotions that you don't want to have. I want to live in a world with no more sadness and death. I long for that in my heart.

I am sorry life didn't turn out the way you imagined when you were a child, and I know anxieties can run high with an uncertain world, especially if you have children to worry about. But we were put in this time for a reason, so wake up sleeper, rise from the dead and let Christ shine on you. You are clearly not reading my blog for no reason, even if you think you're only reading this to watch a psychotic breakdown or something. If you are reading this it is because either you know God, or you hear the soft knock. 

God is light. In him is no darkness at all. -1 John 1:5

Turn to me and be saved, all the ends of the earth! For I am God, and there is no other. -Isaiah 45:22

"Have I any pleasure in the death of the wicked", declares the Lord God, "and not that he should turn from his way and live?" -Ezekiel 18:23

For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. -Romans 6:23

Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the father except through me." -John 14:6

Because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved. -Romans 10:9-10

All that the Father gives to me will come to me, and he who comes to me I will never cast out. -John 6:37

Truly, truly I say to you: whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life. He does not come into judgement, but passes from death to life. John 5:24

God shows no partiality, but in every nation anyone who fears him and does what is right is acceptable to him. -Acts 10:35

We must all die; we are like water spilled on the ground, which cannot be gathered up again. But God will not take away life, and he devises means so that the banished one will not remain an outcast. -Samuel 14:14