come with me- and you'll be- in a pasadise of sweet teats

Ahoy mateys. I'm noticing a pattern here. Patterns....one of my specialties, although I can sometimes be oblivious when they come to myself. I looked back the last few months and recognized a chunk of between 3-5 days around the 20th of every month where I never posted anything. Because there is less than normal firing in my brain and really not much stream of consciousness going on. The lights are on but no one is home type thing.

Last night I got sucked into a now deleted reddit post by someone who had been scammed and bought tickets for Willy's Chocolate Experience, which was supposed to be a Willy Wonka themed experience, but turned out to be a warehouse with dollar store props. I found a news article about the event here. It is worse than you think. But after looking at the Willy's website, it is clear it was all made by AI. There are various grammatical errors and things that flat out don't even make sense. The more you look, the stranger it gets. Like maybe someone drugged you and the acid is hitting. 

I was most excited to hear about the ukxepcted twits.

I hate to say it, but if you fell for this, you're going to fall for any and every cartchy tuns that comes your way. You'll never enter the pasadise of sweet teats if you don't stop your catgacaterizing. Something is growing out of that bear's face...

I am baffled that anyone purchased a ticket after seeing this. They got refunds, but this is some natural selection type stuff and they shouldn't have. Sometimes you have to learn a hard lesson or two. I hate it for the kids, but mom and dad need a reality check if they looked at this and thought, "Sounds legit!"

I really got to thinking....what if an AI hosted this entire event? It was put on by House of Illuminati, a company which there is no information about. What if AI sent out a call for employees, purchased the crappy supplies and hosted the terrible website? Stranger things are happening. 

I think it is impossible for me to stay up past 9 pm now. Maybe when the days are longer I'll be able to stay up later, but since the beginning of the year it has become virtually impossible for me to be vertical past 9. There's a few nights I've gone to bed at 8:30, and then I just sleep like a dead person until an adrenaline dump wakes me up at about 4 every day. 

And then I wake up and don't know what day it is, and then acknowledge that it honestly doesn't matter, because my life just feels as if it is just one long day. It really just feels like I'm walking in an endless tunnel with nothing to separate or distinguish any of it. 

Some days I see the irony in how I was always worried about losing my mind as an old person and I just laugh like a crazy person. Because I am one, but on the plus side after a lifetime of masking, I can totally pull off a normal person....for short periods of time at least. 

We started watching this SyFy show on Netflix, Resident Alien, about an alien trying to fit in undercover as a human. Sometimes his stream of consciousness in not understanding how humans work is very relatable to me. 

A lot of ancient people really believed in the concept of having an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. It really feels like it sometimes, or at least it does for me. Sometimes it feels like there are two versions of me, and there are days where it is easier to get the negative/mentally ill version of me to disappear and other days where it is constantly poking me in the shoulder. 

Oh hey, here's something weird. Last week at the food bank I heard an ice cream truck and a moment later I heard another volunteer say, "does anyone hear an ice cream truck?" Out of about ten other people no one else heard it and the two of us continued to hear it and couldn't figure out where it was coming from. This happened on the day of the AT&T outage. Not saying this means anything, but also not saying it doesn't, because prince of the power of the airwaves doesn't let up playing around with frequencies. Why an ice cream truck jingle? I don't know. There's a lot I don't know. The more I learn, the more I understand that we've been indoctrinated to the point that we don't know anything. All I know is I heard what I heard, and that one other person heard it. Remember "Yanny or Laurel"? That experiment definitely opened my eyes up to how we hear things differently. It blows my mind because it clearly says Yanny to me. 

I have 121 unread texts. A lot of them are unread food bank group texts, but there's a big chunk of people that I haven't replied to that I really need to. Like an unread message from Peppy's stepmom from February 14th that starts out, "I haven't talked to you i-" and that's all I can see. Whenever I get a new message that I can't immediately reply to I just leave it unread, and then the next thing you know it is a million years later and I feel guilty and just ignore it, because....my brain. Last night I was thinking how glad I am that at least my kids got a slightly motivated mother when they were younger, because I was thinking about some of the things we did and I'm like, "How? I am the same person but there's no way I could keep up with a fraction of the things I did when they were smaller. And it has nothing to do with getting older."

Sara, yesterday I was thinking that I wish I could telepathically communicate with you.