noe, the BFG

Oof, that didn't take long. Owsley always flips it to TikTok radio as a joke, but I screamed a little on the inside when I actually saw this on the radio for the first time. Pay no attention to my very dusty screen. This is how it goes...I only notice it is dusty when I'm driving and it is dangerous to wipe off. Or I might try to wipe a bit off with my finger and it just changes channels on the touch screen, so I say 'forget it.' And then I truly do forget all about it. And when you don't care about much...it's hard to care about much.

My brain is not wanting to make complete thoughts this morning, although it has cooperated this week in letting me read lots of ancient texts. So maybe it has just crapped out on me from overuse. It is trying to tug me down though, making me focus on the part of me that is missing. I'm trying to pull myself out of it, but sometime you just have to settle in and just let it ride out. On top of that, I have come to newer conclusions about our past, and that puts me on this island all by myself. Because really, I have no one to talk about this stuff with. By the time I have digested it myself, it is like there is a gate in my brain and I just cannot find the words to explain it. 

Yesterday I was talking to my dad and he said, "Yes, I hope I like the next life as much as this one." And my immediate thought was literally, WTH. This is the person who my whole life has tried to instill this desire to be a good person and strive for eternity and now he's saying this?? Like, seriously, what is happening?!? I'm not saying I think everyone should be depressed and be ready to die, but this is not the attitude of anything he's ever said before. It kind of felt like I was slapped, like the day he told me he wouldn't bother with asking God *trivial* things like if ancient Israelites were actually the people brought over in the slave trade. I don't think that's trivial. That is a fact that would change everything, but that's just me. And since I was already in a mood yesterday, maybe his comment just rubbed me the wrong way. I think my biggest trigger at the moment are people living in denial of reality. 

I was reading in Acts and wanted to know more about this stone, so I googled and learned that the translations differ a bit with this verse. I found lots of myths about statues and faces of gods and goddesses falling from the heavens. 

I also found various ancient texts claiming Noah was a giant, which makes lots of sense and is not anything I'd ever thought about, but obviously he would have been much taller than we are today. This led me to many other accounts that suggest that Noah and Mrs. Noah are credited all over the world as the parents of the Titans. Here you go, if you want to start that deep dive yourself. Although this might be a tough to read piece if you are not pretty familiar with the ancestry of the patriarchs. I imagine if there were an original antediluvian family who had a book containing ways to contain and repel demons they would seem like gods. And if this family of patriarchs started kingdoms all over the world, after the languages were confused Noah and Naamah and their children might have had various names in various cultures. 

A week of 'research' later, and I found myself reading the Testament of Solomon. I know this stuff exists, but I have never felt the need to press in more about demons or evil spirits. I have already given the darkness enough footholds in my life, that I don't even want to toy around with that, because it can be so seductive. Especially for someone who doesn't understand that God's power can overshadow the darkness in an instant. We don't want to turn to God though, we want the power. This is why Solomon turned away in the end. He had all this wisdom and knowledge, but in the end, that wasn't enough for him. He wanted the power too. Scripture never refers to him as a man after God's own heart. But I do feel like I am led to read and search out particular things at particular times and I felt like now was the time. 

"I therefore, having heard this, glorified the Lord God, and again I questioned the demon, saying: “Tell me how you can ascend into heaven, being demons, and amidst the stars and holy angels intermingle.”

 And he answered: “Just as things are fulfilled in heaven, so also on Earth(are fulfilled) the types of all of them. For there are principalities, authorities, world-rulers, and we demons fly about in the air; and we hear the voices of the heavenly beings, and survey all the powers. And as having no basis on which to alight and rest, we lose strength and fall off like leaves from trees. And men, seeing us, imagine that the stars are falling from heaven. But it is not really so, O king; but we fall because of our weakness, and because we have nowhere anything to lay hold of; and so we fall down like lightning in the depth of night and suddenly. And we set cities in flames and fire the fields. For the stars have firm foundations in the heavens like the sun and the moon.”

Twinkle, twinkle little demon. Things aren't looking what they're seeming. NASA and everything about it is a big, fat lie. Everything natural is a spirit, and yet everything has been explained away as science. Truth has turned into a fairy tale. We are not the most educated, we are the most indoctrinated.

We're wishing upon demons, the age of enlightenment was actually post-apocalyptic, and we've turned Christ into an image. There is so much spiritual stuff going on all the time, right alongside us, but we've been taught to suppress and ignore it. But the more I learn, the less crazy I feel, because all the little pieces that have been purposely hidden from us begin to fit together and it becomes so edifying to me. It saddens me to think about all that we've been lied to about, and I pray that God will have mercy on us and forgive us for all our ignorance. He will reward anyone who diligently seeks him. Maybe not in material blessings, but there is no greater blessing than being known by the one who created everything. 

I suppose the narrow road is only narrow enough for one person to walk at a time. Even if sometimes I feel misunderstood and lonely, I am never alone. And I am never misunderstood by the one who can see my entire heart, mind, and soul.