Peppy's dad is staying with us this coming weekend so that he and Peppy can go to a concert Saturday night. Every time I thought about it over the last month or so I would start feeling that creeping anxiety that I feel every time he invites himself over. I wish open house hospitality came more naturally to me. It really bothers me at times, because I know I try my hardest to be a loving person to everyone. I don't want to blame it all on mental and personality problems, but four day visits really do drain me mentally and physically. A lot of it has to do with just how different our lines of thinking are. He will interpret a facial expression or something I say in a completely different way than I intended it. So most of the time I just listen and nod, because that makes everything easier. I'll just mask on the outside and be the person you'll never know on the inside.
I'm not going to say anything else negative or critical, because those are the things about his visits that bother me the most, and I don't want to be a hypocrite.
He texted Peppy earlier this week and said how excited he was that we were going to be spending Easter together. ::praying hands and cross emojis:: (Man, do I go wild with the emojis in my food bank texts. Boomers love their emojis.) This was weird to me because he should know by now that we don't do these holidays. This is nothing new. Even before I was born again I had been taught at a very young age that these holidays really had nothing to do with Christ. I suppose this is one thing that remains from my legalistic religious upbringing that I am happy to not budge on.
But anyway....I do remember the very first time I told my in-laws I didn't celebrate Christmas in any religious way. It was the first Christmas with Peppy eighteen years ago. We went to Brian and Sigi's house on Christmas Eve because they had a yearly tradition of fondue. (This was always SO much fun, and I missed it when they moved to Florida.) After dinner Sigi was going to read 'The Christmas Story,' which was actually the birth of Jesus. Afterwards she asked what traditions my family had in celebrating Christ's birth. When I told her that we didn't celebrate Christmas with Jesus involved at all, the look she gave me made me feel like I had personally hammered those nails into Christ and crucified him.
It is going to be weird if Brian's trip overlaps some week days, because he is used to me being there making breakfast, fixing sandwiches, washing his clothes, entertaining him while Peppy works, etc, but I will be at the food bank this time. Oh well.
I was watching a video on giant chestnut trees, which led to me another video about Melungeon people of the Appalachian area. It was mentioning physical traits of this group of people, and one of them was shovel teeth. I have shovel teeth and I didn't even know people had any other kind of teeth. According to the internet, this is a trait of Asian and Native American people. I don't know if this is true, because I asked Peppy and he has shovel teeth, and so does my dad and Gage. (No one else in my family poll replied.)
Those flat teeth look like dentures to me. I also feel like shovel teeth are on many of the dental models, because the the picture of the shovel teeth look more familiar than the picture of the 'normal' teeth.
I was reading about this person with a rare neurological disorder that makes people's faces look demonic. The conspiracy theorist in me wants to think that they are just preparing people to actually see melting LSD faces and think that it is perfectly normal. I have lots more to say about this, but my TN is flaring up and so my brain synapses are not synapsing the way they should this morning.
Someone posted this optical illusion to demonstrate just how much our brains sometimes play tricks on us. Last night I was actually telling Peppy that because my processing is slower than normal, my brain often makes me want to morph the stuff in my peripheral vision into something else, even when my logic and reasoning knows otherwise. So that optical illusion was pretty cool and shows you how the things we see out of the corner of our eyes might not be what is really there.
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