I was finishing up the book of Numbers this morning and came across this verse:
"You shall not pollute the land in which you live, for blood pollutes the land, and no atonement can be made for the land for the blood that is shed in it, except by the blood of the one who shed it." -Numbers 5:33
My mind jumped to all of the locations that are known for being especially haunted. What if particular places where bloody acts of violence occurred and ghosts are reported are areas of land that cannot get rest. The vibration of that area is searching out in vain for the perpetrator who shed the blood. So that area of land would not get its atonement until the end of time.
Maybe some areas feel more peaceful than others because there hasn't been any blood shed in that particular area. Maybe you get bad vibes from places because gruesome acts of violence were previously done in that spot. I know I have been in places where I didn't know anything about the history and felt ill at ease.
Friday I took Owsley to his eye check-up and he was referred to a specialist for a second opinion on the degenerative eye disease, keratoconus.
Apparently this is genetic, but neither Peppy and I have heard about it before. It is not life threatening and there is no threat of blindness, but I hate this for Owsley. Hopefully because it was seen very early on correcting the issue won't be a problem, although he might have a lifetime of eye maintenance. Owsley adamantly refuses to wear contacts because he doesn't want to have to worry with his eyes everyday, and wearing hard contacts is how people correct this issue when they catch it in a later stage. Fortunately he would be able to qualify for corneal collagen cross-linking, which is a fancy way of saying they stretch your eye open, and put some fiber drops in your eye. Then they blast you with a UV light, and let those drops tighten up your cornea.
I have had two bad 'spells' over the last two weeks. Last Monday as I was leaving the food bank I suddenly got this insane lightning bolt behind my left eye. By dinner time I was so dizzy that I just went to bed for the rest of the night. I was in the worst pain I think I have ever been in in my entire life. And then it was gone the next morning. Friday night I was cooking dinner and a storm was coming on. The TN nerve at the top of my face started spasming, which made me dizzy again and this time I was really confused. When I get confused I test myself (if I am aware enough to) where I try to envision my childhood home or bedroom. One time I tried to mentally picture a rabbit. Friday night I couldn't even remember who I was as a child. And in the moment I couldn't remember if that was the way I felt all the time or not. The whole night was a bit of a blur, even as it was happening. It has been a while since anything caused confusion like that.
Y'all, it is a humbling experience to be aware that you might be losing your mind. The great thing is that even when I am very confused, I am always anchored in my soul and I know who I belong to. So even if I feel so lost in my own mind, I am never anxious or scared (only confused.) That makes me wonder about all the people with dementia and Alzheimer's. It is comforting to think that while they are still in their body, the Lord has them hidden away some place in their mind.
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, yet our inner self is being renewed day by day. For our momentary affliction is producing for us an eternal glory that is far beyond comparison. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
This has never felt so applicable. My outward person might go through phases where it seems to be non-functioning, but on the inside I feel so alive. I hate the term 'download.' All the new-agey/starseed/spiritual folks seem to like that term and will often say they received a 'download.' Nah. I'm not a computer and I don't receive artificial downloads, but I often receive messages of knowledge or wisdom from an agent of God that I imagine whispers it in my ear, because there are many, many times that I understand something so deeply that I know my brain would be incapable of comprehending on its own. I am learning so many new things, and full credit goes to the Lord for all of it.
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