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stream of consciousness

I wish that I could just like, I don't know, plop down all the stuff I have been learning lately. The more I learn, the more I am blown away at how indoctrinated we are about everything. In my mind I think that they layers cannot possibly be peeled back even further, but then they are. Life has become a labyrinth. I think I've solved one puzzle, only that answer leads to three more puzzles. I love it though, because I've only ever wanted to understand the truth about how things work and I feel like the floodgates of knowledge have been poured out lately. I've never wanted to "be" anything except a lifelong student of stuff that interests me. 

Without a doubt we are the most indoctrinated and distracted generation to ever exist. Add a layer of pride on top of that, because we've been so conditioned to believe our ancestors were primitive morons, and it's no wonder it is hard to break through to people. Especially the baby boomers who came into this world right as television programming was beginning. The generations of indoctrination to get us where we are today....it was no accident. And then to add these fake labels to our generations just to create even more division and discord.

Apathetic slow clap for the entities that have attempted to destroy everything good here. They can have this world because it is passing away.

I just haven't had the desire or ability to type anything lately. Wonderful ideas and thoughts that I intuitively understand but am incapable of unraveling in a way that I can translate into words. I have been having lots of thoughts on food and how what we eat (or don't eat) grounds us to certain realities and vibrations. I've been thinking about the slow change from high priests to medicine men to modern doctors, and what that means sicknesses actually are. I have been having thoughts on the World's Fairs, Pinocchio and modern day theme parks and how they are actually intrinsically connected. 

Learning a lot of etymology of words and all the connections between things we assume are unconnected. 

I know I've waffled back and forth for about a year now, but after months and months of prayer and consideration, I firmly believe these are post apocalyptic days and we are trucking through Satan's small return kingdom. The kingdom of science and not spirit. Once I began to see it, I couldn't unsee it. Everything is fake. Nothing is natural. We have been taught a fake history about everything. Even our version of Christ has been taught to us upside down. This world is currently the antichrist kingdom, and something big is coming. I have been telling Peppy for months that "I can't see past September." I don't know what this means. I said "I can't see past January" months before I got covid. I do not believe this means something else is about to eat a huge chunk of my remaining brain, I am just telling you that this same exact inner feeling has happened once before a huge shift in my life happened.


The last two weeks since our trip have flown by. Owsley had his second eye procedure and that seemed to be a success. I know he is glad to have that over with. Both one week check-ups were positive and he goes back in three months to make sure everything has fully healed. Last Saturday all these people from the food bank were texting me and checking up on him and I was blown away by their compassion, because it was people that I didn't even realize knew Owsley was having a procedure. The food bank has brought such wonderful people into my life that I am incredibly grateful for. 

General observation- I have gone from being pooped on my birds ZERO times in my life, to five times over the last three weeks. Twice at Cedar Point, which, ok, there were tons of birds everywhere, but three times since we've been home. Peppy even pointed out two dead births in the yard, which is not normal. Maybe this is how they plan on spreading the bird flu. It is just a little insane that I have gone my entire life without being defecated on my poultry, and suddenly five times in less than a month. This seems a little intentional. Like they have a vendetta against me. 

Lately each morning after I'm finished with my prayer and bible reading I will go out on the back deck and dance under the stars. I came back inside a few mornings ago and Sheldon looked terrified. I had opened the windows to let the cool air in, and all he could hear was something large stomping around on the deck in the dark. Right now my favorite song to listen to in the morning is Foster the People "Lost in Space" because I can easily pretend that the deck is my space craft and I am dancing through space on my wooden float. 

Floating....and drifting....and flying through the open sky. 

Oftentimes I do feel like I am in my own reality, with one foot wherever I am on earth and another foot somewhere else, so this song kind of appealed to me when I first heard it. Plus there's something in my soul that comes alive to any kind of disco sound. It is what it is. 

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