My family has been gone since Wednesday night. Because of my short-term memory problems that first 36 hours I kept forgetting they weren't here. It was kind of an odd feeling.
Yesterday I binge watched the entire season of KAOS on Netflix. I went into it knowing it was not up for a renewal for season 2 and I have no clue why. Maybe because some of the jokes probably go right over your head if you don't have a basic grasp on Greek mythology. Maybe their target audience was a little more niche than they realized. If you knew a lot about Greek mythology, the dialogue was really funny.
When Dionysus came out with a shirt that had a Baphomet print on the back, I knew I was in for a good time and I was glad I was able to shout at the TV without anyone else here. I really hope they change their mind about a second season. And if they don't, well there sure have been a lot of shows about empires falling and worlds ending lately.
There was a line about distractions, about how Zeus constantly relies on humans to be distracted.
"And again. And again. Eventually, Zeus got tired of all the killing. And so the Frame was invented. Not to renew human souls, but to harvest them. To liquidize them. The whole process was industrialized, sanitized. The gods drink it to stay immortal. And so, the lie must be preserved. The myths maintained. The humans distracted. That's what Zeus relies on."
There you go, reality in a nutshell. We are distracted NONSTOP in order to not see past all this garbage to our true purpose.
I also watched Buy This on Netflix Thursday night. Most of this was already stuff I knew, but I would recommend it to anyone who still thinks those recycling stamps on plastic mean anything. Yesterday I read this article about how much damage Christmas Tree farms actually do to the environment, and I think the materialism associated with the holiday season is probably a number one contributor to climate demise. Stopping cow farts is not the answer. Cows are going to fart. That is a natural part of digestion. Our obscene consumerism is not a natural part of anything.
Wednesday night I went out to dinner and was sitting across from my ten year old niece. That night my phone was giving me ads for Aviator Nation and Pink Puffy Palm (?) things that I have clearly never searched for in my life. They are always listening. And then I was thinking about the TikTok videos and how there is a huge compilation of our voices and movements so that ANYTHING could be faked about any of us. They could have incriminating video evidence of basically any of us doing anything. It would be so easy to make a deepfake for everything they could think of. Obviously I've thought about this a lot before, but sometimes I forget the things that I already know and it is brought back to the forefront of my mind. Very soon the only things we will be able to verify as true are the ones we see in real life.
Deep dives I've been into lately: the areas that lie beyond the ice wall, Rupes Nigra (or the mountain below the garden of Eden, or as most people know it- the North Pole) and big-headed Yakub, the creator of white people. He decided to selectively breed only the weakest and worst traits in people, and out came the white race. And while I originally laughed the idea of Yakub off, there were clearly big-headed people at some point in time, look at Nefertiti and her children. We've seen these pictures our entire lives.
It is a month since we were at Kings Island and I'm pretty much in the same mental state as I was then. I don't know if I've mentioned it on here before, but basically for the last four years there have been four versions of me. This is not some kind of multiple personality thing, because it's allllll me, it just seems like I have a greater understanding of the brain phases females cycle through each month due to hormone changes, so it truly feels like there are four different working versions of me. Some of them at higher capacity, one at very, very low. And right now I'm reminded of how I felt a month ago...
I heard a rollercoaster on the tracks, and it sounded so smooth and quiet. I looked up because I assumed they were still testing empty trains. Nope, it was filled with people, and not a single person was making any noise. Because of my lifetime of sensory issues and my immediate pattern recognition, it seems so surreal and eerie to me for a theme park to be filled with people and it still be fairly quiet.
Loooooooooosh
I can remember on one of our daily walks shortly after covid lockdowns began, I told Peppy that I felt like they were going to leave us in a permanent state of shock so that when the aliens came no one would be freaking out. So here we are, like five years later. I was wrong about how they were going to sedate us. Clearly that was done via vaccine and worldwide chemical lobotomy (whether you think you've been affected or not, you HAVE been.) Welcome, my fellow idiots. It is soft and fluffy around here.
I do feel like the aliens, or whatever they really are, are right around the corner. And no one cares, because some of us literally cannot make ourselves care about anything.
I was kind of talking about this apathy at Thanksgiving with my cousin and brother. My cousin did admit that he finds himself driving much more slowly without realizing it. He'll 'come to' and think something is wrong with his car but then look down at the speedometer and notice that he's actually just barely driving. Someone in my family admitted to trying to order tacos from a Wendy's drive thru. I believe it really is slowly rolling over into all facets of our lives, but it has happened as such a molasses speed that most people don't realize it. Or are too distracted. You know, like Zeus prefers.
My family is supposed to come home this evening. I have thoroughly enjoyed this solitude and silence. The time has flown by faster than normal, but I am so incredibly grateful for the last couple of days. I had a major crash after we came home from Kings Island and I have felt like I've had a more difficult time getting back into the groove, so this has been really nice. Contentment in solitude is such a gift. My brain is not the same as before, but it can still be good, and in some ways it is better. Kind of like Job with all his new children after his former children died. It was not the same as before, but it could still be good.
Godliness with contentment is great gain. For we came into the world with nothing and we leave the world with nothing. -Paul, to Timothy: Somewhere in one of the Timothys.
I do feel a little bad for Sheldon though, because when I am alone I often find myself singing my thoughts or just turning any song or sound into a Gregorian chant style, not focusing on any particular key, and swapping out vocal range whenever I feel like it. What I'm trying to say is that if I were on the opposite end of this scenario and was a witness and not the only active participant, it would be really obnoxious and probably make me want to kill myself. He's starting to give me a bit of the side eye and I know he's wondering if it's just me and him and Frankie forever now.
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