I've been hanging out in the Nag Hammadi online library lately, scouring gnostic texts. I was reading something a few days ago that I cannot stop thinking about. It is in reference to the creation of earth, and the water being separated from the water.
Sooooooo.......a long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, Sophia wanted to create something, but in her excitement she didn't want to wait on her consort and instead attempted to create on her own. Considering she attempted creation without her other half, her creation was half-formed, so she shoved it away into a thick cloud of fog. But her creation was looming in that fog, slowly become aware of itself.
She separates the water above from the water below and hovers over the water.
The water below begins to become conscious of itself and sees only itself, and believing it is the only thing to exist, it becomes an arrogant prideful thing. But as long as it stays under the water it's ignorance is subdued. But that's not enough for our arrogant water thing, or the Demiurge, Yaldabaoth, whatever you want to call it. It needs to come out of the water and declare its sovereignty over everything. Only when it comes out of the water does that ignorance and pride turn into sin (there's a clear parallel to baptism here), and then the Demiurge continues to pollute everything it comes in contact with. All of these conscious things that weren't even thinking about anything evil, until the demiurge brought those ideas into their subconscious.
"And their thoughts were evil continuously." Even if we don't want them to be, just hearing and seeing the influence of negative things makes us think about evil things our minds were never even supposed to ponder. I'll think of explicit songs I haven't heard in 25 years and suddenly I'm singing them in my head for ten days straight.
The whole concept of the Demiurge being the darkness that was separated from the light brings the verse "God is light, and in him is no darkness at all" (1 John 1:5) alive in a new way.
Everything I have read in any of these texts has only further solidified my belief in the truth of the Bible and given more insight into areas that I didn't necessarily understand.
Sheldon has been acting like a freaking weirdo lately. Yes, the dog has some psychological quirks that we work around, and come on, don't we all? But right now he is laying on the floor beneath me, which he only ever does if there is a storm outside. There haven't been any storms at all over the last couple of days. Actually, there haven't been any sounds in the air at all. If me or Peppy are not actively sitting, Sheldon follows us all around the house and then sits on the floor right under wherever we are. Animals sense things that we cannot. There have been times where it has felt like something must have just come up behind me that I can't see, because suddenly Sheldon will look at the air and slink away like he's in trouble.
I'm all like, "Speak, Balaam's donkey! Tell me what's going on here."
But he does always seem to calm down when I lay my hands on his torso and hum while thinking happy things. Am I joking? No. I learned with that insane monster Joey that music truly does soothe the savage soul. The only thing that calmed her down was when I sang the same song over and over to her.
I have the best job in the world. I did it for free for seven years, so sometimes it is surreal to realize I get paid to do it now. Oh yeah, I'm in charge now too. I was supposed to become director at the beginning of the year, but Sarah has had some family emergencies lately and wanted me to go ahead and become the director when we came back after Thanksgiving.
I have been a little blown away by the support from everyone. I don't think it is normal for an adult to feel like an imposter or a fraud, but it is what it is,
A few weeks ago one of our volunteers had asked me to put together a 'wish list' for our homeless clients and he said he would get his pickleball group to bring in stuff from the list. He told me to put exactly what we wanted, because we would get 'good stuff from this group of people.' They are all basically retired and live in various local golf course neighborhoods. Jump to your own conclusions about their finances.
Anyway, he texted me earlier this week to see if they could drop it off. Ask and ye shall receive because they really did hook us up. We got sleeping bags, tents, brand new Carhart jackets, scarves, gloves, socks, tarps, blankets. It was pretty amazing, especially since the weather has taken a very cold dip here the last week.
On the flip side, my job is emotionally taxing and I do believe sometimes my lack of emotion and adrenaline is a gift. Yesterday I had to try and communicate with a Haitian man that we did not have his wife's passport. He believed they left it at the food bank Wednesday when they were getting food. I tried communicating with him over Google translate, but English to Haitian Creole is a little lost in translation.
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