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stream of trigeminal neuralgia

Crawling my way out of a ten day trigeminal neuralgia flare up. Seriously, I always feel like a sleep-drunk bear trying to somehow climb a steep well out of hibernation. It takes effort and determination to bust out of the tegrafog. It just wants to swirl and whip around me and pull me back under, and sometimes it is so, so easy to just give in to the spell and sleep another day away.  I have basically slept away the month of October. Even in my waking hours, I might as well have been asleep. I can't tell you anything that really happened the last couple of weeks.  Up until a couple weeks ago, my longest flare up was six or seven days, so obviously realizing they can last longer than that is so extremely exciting to me. I just can't tell you how thrilled this makes me. I knew I was in for a doozy when I woke up one morning and had to immediately puke.  Hello, friend! Did you miss me? In the beginning of these flare ups, I try EV-ER-Y-THING. I try all my tricks. I pull everythin
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weird things are happening v.192

*Android malware  'Necro'  infects 11 million devices via Google Play. I wonder why they decided to call it that. *Chinese zoo tries to pass off  painted dogs  as pandas.  Temu...Temu...he's barking like a billionaire. *American woman uses 3-D printed  suicide pod  to assist in Euthanasia.  *Rare  polar bear  shows up on the shores of Iceland. So the police shoot it. *Hezbollah claims Israel is dropping  leaflets  with dangerous barcodes. This sounds like it was taken from the script of  Leave the World Behind. * Earth  may have already breached 7 out of 9 planetary boundaries.  *Widespread  flooding  in Africa has killed more than 1000 people since July.  * AI  uncover over 300 ancient etchings in Peru's Nazca desert. * Trump ad  is run in the state of Georgia, featuring a picture of the country of Georgia. Being a true American, I guess maybe he doesn't know a lot of geography. *Reports claim that the world's  oceans  could become too acidic to sustain marine
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stream of consciousness

Y'all seen the movie Infinity Pool? It's terrible, but it's basically about how the super rich have an endless supply of clones they can 'kill off' if they are caught committing a crime. (Spoiler: they are all vacationing on La Tolqa where so many things are illegal and result in the death penalty.) I'm beginning to think it has more documentary elements than anything else. The Diddy mugshot is definitely more of a 'did-n't' because that is not the real Puff Diddler. Seriously, look at that alien head and what is with the massive Tesla logo over his eyebrows?  What is this? Not a human, that's for sure. Possibly A.I, but 100% not the original born Sean Combs. Maybe he just had hundreds of clones of himself for his freak out parties, but sadly I feel like there were a lot of underage and unwilling participants at his parties, and not just copies of copies of copies of himself. Maybe that's why this one looks so stupid, because it's already
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A.I. A.I. (uh-oh)

Before Gage's birthday I was looking for an Apashe hoodie for him. I stumbled upon this Redbubble/Ebay hybrid type of website where they made their own shirts AND sold leftover concert merch. They had great reviews with pictures, and even had the particular hoodie and shirt that I hadn't been able to find in stock in Gage's size on the Apashe website. Even though it was exactly  what I had been looking for, something felt weird about it, and I realized that I couldn't find a search bar anywhere on the entire website. I had clicked onto the site straight from a google search. There was a contact email and Owsley contacted them about the lack of search bar, and their response was "send a screenshot of what you are looking for."  What does that even mean? I mean, I know what it means, but why? That's not even something a scammer would say. I told Peppy that it felt like the website had actually been created as I had searched for the merchandise. The website s
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tick tick boom

Hypothetically speaking here, because obviously we are untouchable here in America, but if pagers can be detonated, so can cellphones. There was a Stephen King movie about this years ago, called The Cell . I think I watched it. It's right there in our faces, but most of us have come to rely on our phones like an extra appendage. So even if we can see it, our lives have become so interwoven with this technology that the only way we could completely break away is for another Carrington Event to wipe out technolgy. Getting us here was a very slow process, but they have us right where they want us. I wonder what percentage of humans have a cellphone/pager/piece or smart technology they wear on their body most of the time. So many people sleep with their phones next to them or with smart watches on. Taking this into consideration, it feels a bit like the world is being held hostage.  Don't worry, Deanna. Only terrorists are being targeted. Yeah, ok. I'm not worried at all, but I
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dos lunas

According to NASA, earth is going to get a second moon, but only for about 60 days starting at the end of September. And we all know if we can't trust NASATAN, who can we trust? The prince of the power of the air is known for his honesty. I get it that NASA stands for National Aeronautics and Space Administration, but you know that I've spoke ad nauseam about the power of words and how we often don't know what a word really means, and because of that we are speaking things into our lives that we don't even understand. The Hebrew word nasa means to deceive or morally delude. Feel free to check it out on  Blue Letter Bible  because I'm here to anti-nasa you. The word nasa isn't exclusive to the Hebrew lexicon. It means different things across different cultures including: to lose, destruction, death, abandonment, an intoxicated state and much, much  more . There's some burning facts for the fact checkers out there. Hey, Andy, did you hear about this one? Tell
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another stream of consciousness

Yesterday was Peppy's 40th birthday. I have been working with my in-laws to surprise him with a overnight trip, but on Friday I realized that other than baking him a cake I didn't have anything for him. We don't really do big gifts or anything, but Peppy is always really thoughtful about getting me something that I need but might not necessarily buy for myself. I googled some album covers and decided this Billy Strings album art looked like something I could do. That'll do pig. That'll do. I was really pleased with how these came out, and I'm pretty happy with how well the edges match up. I also made him a German chocolate cake. I followed a new recipe for the icing and I think it's the best tasting one I've made for him so far. We went and saw Beetlejuice last night and I wasn't too impressed with it. I felt like they tried to tie too many storylines together. How many different stories can we put inside one main story? Who knows, but lets try and f
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looooooong stream of consciousness

One thing about brain damage is that my short term memory can be, well, pretty dang short. I know I've mentioned how when I am overstimulated or on a bad brain day I can sometimes forget what I'm saying or thinking mid-thought. A perk of short term memory loss is that I forget about pictures like this pretty quickly. I really think this is my favorite picture of myself. I think it captures the perfect essence of me as a meat sack. We were walking down the hallway of Hotel Breakers and Peppy said, "Hey, make the same face as that horse and let me take your picture." In retrospect, I could have taken a moment to flare my nostrils and maybe try to do a lizard eye.  I keep having these very similar dreams, or more like I keep become aware in my dreams. Not exactly lucid dreaming though, but I'm always in a gigantic hotel. Sometimes I'm in my room. Sometimes I'm walking around. Sometimes I'm on the hotel grounds, and sometimes I'm just sitting outside o
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when it all comes crashing

OK, I am over here laughing like a lunatic. Let me tell you something about me now...I often come to these insane realizations out of nowhere. Things that I have never thought about, and when I actually do I realize how absolutely bonkers the whole thing is. Peppy came up to me over the weekend and thought I was crying, but I was doubled over laughing about something I had thought. I am always thankful whenever the part of my brain that can make me laugh is working correctly. I did miss it for a couple years there.  Anyway, there are some things that I have not given much thought to at all. Like bitcoin.  I have intuitively known bitcoin was a scam, but I've never given it much thought because I've always just kind of understood this internet/simulation world will eventually disappear, along with everything associated with it. I mean, honestly, anyone that trusts and believes in anything Elon Musk has his hands in is more delusional than I am. (There are a few people that I am
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stream of consciousness

I wish that I could just like, I don't know, plop down all the stuff I have been learning lately. The more I learn, the more I am blown away at how indoctrinated we are about everything. In my mind I think that they layers cannot possibly be peeled back even further, but then they are. Life has become a labyrinth. I think I've solved one puzzle, only that answer leads to three more puzzles. I love it though, because I've only ever wanted to understand the truth about how things work and I feel like the floodgates of knowledge have been poured out lately. I've never wanted to "be" anything except a lifelong student of stuff that interests me.  Without a doubt we are the most indoctrinated and distracted generation to ever exist. Add a layer of pride on top of that, because we've been so conditioned to believe our ancestors were primitive morons, and it's no wonder it is hard to break through to people. Especially the baby boomers who came into this wor
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