the end is the beginning

  It is hard for me to imagine that these fires are not intentional. Baby steps towards the great reset and obviously a push towards us consuming only lab created franken-foods and GMO products that don't even resemble their origin. Another huge thing lately has been quality control. One week a product will be normal, and the next week the very same product will be slimy or just weird tasting. Sometimes when I am cooking ground beef I ask myself, could this be human? I feel fairly certain that if you are a carnivore you've probably eaten human at some point. I've got a ton of links piling up in my inbox. It has been two weeks since my last weird things post, so some of these might be old news to you. *Starbucks to add  abortion travel coverage  to its health benefits.  *Italy announces rollout of a  social credit system  which will reward compliant citizens for good behavior.  *Church hosts a  drag show  for children. *This season's first hur...

I hate the phrase "It's not fair." Life is not fair. No one ever promised it would be. But today I found myself telling Peppy, "It is not fair that we buried my grandmother today and I felt nothing." It is surreal and dreamlike. I thought that the wellbutrin was going to fix this, and it has fixed many things, like my brain fog and no longer feeling like I am in the backseat of my body. But to feel emotionally numb to this is like a curse.  Friday I went with my mom and Memaw to find my grandaddy a suit, my grandmother a dress, and to pick out flowers. I was also on a mission to find dress pants for my kids, which is an adventure in itself. We drove all over the place and I don't know if I was picking up on everyone's emotions or what, but I texted Peppy and told him I physically felt like I was having a panic attack only I wasn't feeling anxious. As I was typing out the text I felt drunk, without actually feeling drunk, because I couldn't seem t...

My grandmother passed away last night. She had been in the hospital for five weeks. Those last few weeks I tried to visit as much as I could because it only seemed real to me if it was right in front of my face. And it had to be real. I needed it to be real, because I refused to let my grandmother pass away and not feel anything. I wasn't going to let covid take this away from me too. So I went every day after the food bank, and Peppy, the kids and I would visit on the weekend and some evenings. One afternoon when I was leaving she grabbed my hand and looked me in the eyes and said, "I love you," and I knew that was her telling me goodbye.  Those last few weeks it was inevitable that she was going to pass away. She was sleeping most of the day and she couldn't really eat anything. She knew she was dying because she asked my dad when he was going to bring pictures so she could pick them out for her slideshow. And one day when I was there she woke up and said, "Whe...

I've been obsessed with the supernatural, paranormal and anything weird, morbid or occultic since early childhood, but I didn't really get into conspiracy mode until I was around twelve or thirteen. I remember hearing Another Brick in the Wall (Thanks VH1 and Movies that Rock) and it was like a major paradigm shift took place in my brain. I had always had trouble staying motivated and concentrating in school and hearing this song made everything click in place to me for the first time in my life. Why were we learning what we were learning? Who decided what was important to know? Are we all being brainwashed? What if history as we know it isn't even true? What if none of this even matters? Unless you were going to school for some lucrative career, I began to see college as a trap, a lifetime of bondage to student loans. I began to see humans as cogs in a machine, ignorant marionettes who didn't see the master pulling the puppet strings. And by the way, who was this maste...

I joined the monkeypox subreddit one day late last week and I was the 42nd member. I joined because every post was a link to a news article about a new case and I figured this would be the best place to get the most resources on the monkeypox story. I don't know why, but this is one of these things I feel like I should pay attention to. I've had pox on my mind since last November when I questioned the purchase of $130 million dollars worth of TPOXX vaccine. I also remember a story from last year about how some "old" vials of smallpox, that were previously thought destroyed, were found in a lab in Massachusetts. At least I think that's where the lab was. (Actually it was  Pennsylvania . Same place as the  crashed truck with lab monkeys . Now r/monkeypox has over 6000 members. Every news story available is still posted there, but due to the member size there are now a lot of personal posts. Lots of people wondering if they should keep their plans of traveling to ano...

We ended up going to see the Smashing Pumpkins last night and I'm glad we did. Peppy had asked me Friday if I was excited, and well, that is a hard thing for me to answer honestly because I don't ever feel any excitement about anything anymore. Logically I knew that I would regret it if I didn't go, but I just wasn't feeling it Friday night. But the more I thought about it, the more I decided we should just go. The tickets had already been purchased, I had been wanting to see them for over 25 years, and Peppy and I don't often get the chance to do anything alone anymore.  We stood in a decent spot. It was closer to the back, but it was also in an area where people were not completely piled on top of each other. I didn't have anyone swinging beers into me all night long, so that was a good thing.  They played a variety of old and new songs, fortunately a majority of them were older, and out of the new songs I only didn't recognize three or four of them. I wou...

My brother called me at 6:48 yesterday morning. "Hey, are you coming? You are usually here by now." Uhhhh...crap. I was on the couch in my pajamas and my brother lives a 25 minute drive away. I thought my sister-in-law was watching Lincoln today. I could have sworn that Jonathan told me that I was off this whole week.  Nope. That was all in my head. I checked back texts and he said my sister-in-law was going to watch Lincoln on the 23rd. But because I forgot to write the change of days on the calendar, and because I have no concept of dates and times, I thought today was 23rd. I told him if he could wait I'd be there asap. I ran to brush my teeth and I told Peppy what was going on. Because I'm due to start my period at any second, not only is my brain at its absolut muddiest, but I was also really emotional. Peppy told me not to be so hard on myself, only I wasn't really being hard on myself for being forgetful. I was upset that my memory is becoming my enemy. (Es...

Monkeypox is randomly popping up all over the world. There have been reported  cases  in the UK, Spain, France, Portugal, Italy, Canada, and America. Back in November of last year I questioned whether  smallpox  would be our next pandemic. Last year the US received a delivery of $113 million worth of ORAL TPOXX, which was suspicious, considering smallpox has been eradicated since the 1980s. I wonder if somehow it will be blamed on the  monkeys ? And speaking of monkeys, here is a direct quote from  this article. "The Oxford-AstraZeneca vaccine is made from cold-causing adenovirus that was isolated from the stool of chimpanzees and modified so that is no longer replicates in cells." Could the AstraZeneca vaccines be causing this monkeypox outbreak? Is monkeypox actually just a cover-up for shingles caused by an adverse vaccine reaction? Is it a coincidence that Biden plans to sign American sovereignty over to the WHO in case another pandemic arises? Virus w...

Last night Owsley wanted me to help him make some roller coasters on Roblox. He repeatedly reminded me that he doesn't even like Roblox, but that the other roller coaster creator costs $50 and this one is free. As we were creating our own theme park, I started thinking about the things that I enjoy about roller coasters, Velocicoaster in particular. I was so out of my mind in brain fog on our trip in September that I didn't even remember there being raptors that you could see during the ride. I even told Owsley later that I didn't understand why there were no raptors that the carts went past. He didn't say anything, but he did look at me like I was an idiot. After riding it two weeks ago, I asked him, "Were those always there?!" He told me they were, and I believe him, because there were so many things that felt absolutely new to me on this trip, even when I knew that I saw them back in September. So many new details stuck out to me. Things seemed more vibrant...

Man, do I have some great links this week. You're going to want to at least scroll through them, because weird things are definitely  happening. But first, here's a highly probable conspiracy for you. *Are the crew members of the 1986 Challenger explosion still alive ? The fact that you can follow links directly to their business websites and linkedin profiles is pretty crazy. And a majority of them are still going by the same names. Maybe the witness protection program has a statute of limitations. *I listened to an interview with the creators of the documentary  The Belly of the Beast , which is about how America was mostly definitely not founded on christian beliefs and how DC is a hub for satanic rituals. This is stuff that I already knew, but I think I'm going to purchase the documentary because it is fascinating to think about, and I know the creators are way more knowledgeable about this than I am. *I also listened to this short five part series on how the  millenn...

This was taken on Mother's Day in a five minute window from coming home from church and heading back out for lunch. We had gotten home from our trip late the night before and were all pretty exhausted in this picture. Also, does anyone know of a good place for young men's jeans? Gage is at this weird spot where he is so tall and skinny that it is very difficult to find jeans that are long enough, especially since he won't wear a belt. He says he doesn't care, and I believe him, so I guess it really isn't that big of a deal. But it would be good to know for the future.  I've been on Wellbutrin for about six weeks now and I really can't think of any negative side effects I'm having. Peppy says I am more engaged and less apathetic. Since being in Orlando I've been sleeping through the night again and not waking up at 2:30 each morning. I'm really thankful for that, because while I wasn't feeling sleep deprived, 20 hour days are very long. When y...

When we got home Saturday night I said, "I cannot wait until Thursday afternoon," because I knew that my week was going to be very busy until then. And I'm finally there. Whooo! Sunday we had church and went to lunch with extended family, then visited my grandmother in the hospital and afterwards went back to my parent's house. Monday I babysat my nephew. Tuesday was the food bank and then I had to do a massive grocery run because I hadn't been to the store since before we left for Orlando. We were having to get creative with the kid's lunches. Anything in the freezer was up for grabs. And yesterday I had to get dental work done. Wednesday is also my cleaning day and then in the afternoon we go visit my Memaw for a few hours.  I don't know if I ever went into detail, because it is a little embarrassing, but I ended up having five cavities when I went to the dentist. I know it is because I had so many sore throats in the beginning of my long haul and would ...

I've been thinking a lot about transhumanism lately. It really is just around the corner, especially with neuralink. People will become like computers, with knowledge that you can mentally access instead of having to look it up on a computer. You will think about frogs and suddenly you will know everything there is to know about frogs without ever researching. It sounds crazy, but the technology is probably already here. It is technology that has been known since ancient times.  If we become part AI, are we even human anymore? I believe that is why the flood happened, because humans weren't 100% human anymore. Angels interbred with humans, creating the nephilim, who were human-angel hybrids, although they were more like monsters. I believe the Greek 'myths' probably are more fact than fiction. The earth was flooded because most of its inhabitants were monstrous creatures and the humans that were left were completely evil. God didn't flood the earth because he's ...

We've been back home since Saturday night and no one got sick on our trip. How is it possible that we have gone to Universal (maskless) twice during the great pandemic and returned home without a sniffle, but yet we get sick everytime I see chemtrails in the sky? You could say it is psychosomatic, but since my kids are affected as well I don't believe that to be the case.  I don't have many links to share, but some of these have been in my inbox for over a week, so I think I should go ahead and post them. *There is a new documentary out that keeps being 'fact checked.' It is called  2000 Mules , and apparently people are shocked to find out their vote truly doesn't matter. I haven't watched it, so I can't tell you what I think about it, but I guess I am shocked that people are shocked. Voter fraud has existed waaaaay before the 2020 election. I have never voted for anything in my entire life, aside from class favorites in elementary school, and even that...

Wednesday we had a rest day. We slept in and had reservations at Toothsome's and walked around City Walk. Then we went back to the hotel where I amazingly took a nap while Peppy and Owsley went swimming.  Peppy ordered a patty melt, but it was also under the heading of 'French Toast,' so he wasn't really sure what to expect. He said it was really good though. And we all shared a brookie sundae. Owsley wanted to ride the water rides again, so it was Peppy's turn. Gage and I went to this kiddie area called Me Ship Olive based off of Popeye, where there were water cannons set up and you could shoot directly at the people on the raft ride below. This was a highlight for both me and Gage. We got a sadistic thrill from torturing the riders below. I didn't plan to have a dragon fire picture, but I just happened to be at the right place at the right time.  We ended Thursday night watching the light show on the lagoon. I am a big fan of a great movie score, and the water...