the end is the beginning

Ah, the beautiful sound of silence. I actually slept the first four hours of the drive back home. It was nothing short of amazing.  This Thanksgiving was a little different. The last six years we've gone to Florida to visit Peppy's dad and stepmom for Thanksgiving. This past summer Peppy's aunt and uncle also moved to Florida from Arizona, and another aunt and uncle also joined us this year. So our little group turned into a larger gathering, and I felt like I constantly had to be "on."  The third night we were there I went to bed at 8 pm. I literally could not stay awake another moment. I don't know why people drain me so much, and I definitely do not understand nonstop conversations. Who has that much to say? Not me. I'm sure I probably come off as a snob at times, but I know myself, and I know when I need to break away and be alone. I would never want to be deaf, but the world is sometimes such a loud place for me. I often feel like I cannot relate to t...

I thought I'd get Peppy's stepmom to take a couple pictures of us on the beach this morning to hopefully use as a Christmas card this year. Unfortunately it was super windy and this is what I am left to choose from.  Literally not a single good one of all of us. We are going on a hike tomorrow, so maybe I'll get another chance for a better family picture. But I'm pretty sure I'm going to use one of these on a card because at least they are real. We were trying our best. Hah At least the scenery is nice. 

Nothing has been going on around here lately. Seriously, nothing. We've been passing around a cold this past week, so we've been lazing around and doing absolutely nothing. I've been watching way more Netflix than is normal for me, and we've been playing board games and laughing at how stupid our brains are being when we can't mentally calculate our scores. Fortunately we seem to be on the other side of it now. You can always tell when you're getting better when you wake up, freezing and soaked, in your bittersweet smelling sweat. We are supposed to go to my in-law's house for Thanksgiving. We haven't been there in a year. Hopefully there will be no more loogie coughs today, because we definitely don't want to head to their house and get anyone sick. Peppy and Gage have had the hardest time shaking it, and I wonder if it's because Peppy works from home now and Gage basically never wants to go anywhere, so their immunities are lower than mine and ...

Just like that, the CDC quietly admits that the vaccines can cause  myocarditis . For months this has been denied by politicians, the pharmaceutical industry, and every single media outlet. We could see it happening in real time, and yet all they did was deny. This doesn't mean that I suddenly believe anything the CDC says, but the fact that it is now listed on their website pretty much means we are about to see an explosion in heart related problems, and the CDC is one step ahead.  "Cases tend to be clinically mild." Yeah, ok. So all those young, healthy athletes that have just randomly died from heart failure this past year just had mild cases. There seems to be a strange epidemic of these athletes dying. Every single day there are more and more news articles of young and healthy people unexpectedly dying. And now this is authorized for young children. This is evil. DO NOT GIVE YOUR CHILDREN THIS VACCINE. DO NOT LET YOUR CHILDREN BE GUINEA PIGS IN THIS EXPERIMENTAL GENE...

*So yeah, about that smallpox thing I said earlier this week, the FBI is currently investigating vials labeled  "smallpox"   in a Pennsylvania lab. And a Maryland residence tests positive for  monkeypox ,which is in the same virus family as smallpox. Now I know sometimes my brain probably makes connections in my mind because I want to see them, but this sure seems like way more than a coincidence. It seems too obvious. I'm asking myself, is this all a joke? Is life just one big joke for the people at the top of the pyramid? And I'm coming to a resounding YES.  *Asia's  virtual influencers   offer a glimpse of the metaverse.  *Here is a list of over 400  movies   that were made under Pentagon supervision.  *Sick and strangely  bald eagles   were found in Maryland. *National intelligence director does not rule out  extraterrestrial origins   for UFOs. *The world's first  unvaccinated lockdown   will begin nati...

I cannot believe my baby is eleven years old. Owsley is the best parts of me and Peppy combined. He is naturally loving and affectionate (Peppy) and can instinctively pick up on other people's feelings and emotions and happily accommodate to that (me.) He has a big, giving heart, although I must admit that both of my children inherited my nonchalance/slight apathy for life. I think it's genetic. Owsley is a big helper to me. He helps me bake and he is the best grocery shopping buddy you could ask for. He pushes the buggy for me and rings up our things while I bag them. I've never even asked him to do these things for me. He just wants to. And he can tell you anything you want to know about roller coasters.  Owsley has these memories of when he was four and I would make him bacon and cheese pancake balls in this particular skillet my mom had given me for Christmas one year. But when we moved in the RV we put all the heavy kitchen stuff that we didn't think we would immed...

Yesterday was my sister-in-law's baby shower. These are both my SILs. I am lucky and grateful that not only do I have a close relationship with both my brothers, but I also get along well with their wives. I can't wait to see Jonathan and Emily as parents. I can actually feel a tiny bit emotional when I think about how long they have wanted a baby. I am so happy for them. I just hope their current child (elderly and very moody dog Aasic) doesn't get too jealous with a baby around. I know Emily feels terrible, but I think she looks beautiful.  They still don't know what gender the baby is, but me and my other SIL are both team girl. No matter what, this kid is going to be so loved. Is already so loved.  Tomorrow is Owsley's birthday, which marks one year that our home was delivered. I remember how excited we all were, anxiously awaiting the sound of a loud truck coming down the road. We had been delayed over a month in delivery, and with all the craziness involving t...

In my last weird things post I mentioned Bill Gates warning of bioterrorism and smallpox. I remember him saying sometime last year that "the next pandemic will really get our attention." Or maybe that was Fauci. One of those snakes said it. Smallpox is a highly contagious, disfiguring, and deadly disease. The initial onset includes fever and vomiting with other flu like symptoms. Patients also get a rash of bumps which fill with fluid and spread all over their body.  I found  this article   that was posted over a week ago, stating that around $113 million of ORAL TPOXX was targeted for delivery in the US in this last quarter. Interesting that they had to order such a large quantity of a medicine for a disease that has been eradicated since the 1980s. A disease that is "extremely rare." How are they going to convince us that smallpox just re-emerged naturally? Although if I've learned anything over the past two years, it is that people are quick to believe anythi...

I've been watching all these videos on mud floods, Tartaria, and previous world resets. I came across a series on the theory that the nephilim are where our modern day clowns come from. At first I thought there could be no connection, but it was a slow day over here and I started watching a couple episodes while I was cooking dinner, and I actually think the guy might be onto something. He does make a fairly compelling argument, and I was especially interested in his episodes about jesters and DMT, because it reminded me a lot of what I experienced when meditating. Here is the  complete playlist   for anyone interested. Gives me a whole new take on the term 'clown world.' This youtuber also has a great  Question the Narrative   series. If you are interested in learning more about mud floods and the hidden civilization of Tartaria, she does a great job introducing you to that. And she mostly posts pictures and news articles and lets you come to your own conclusions wi...

Back in the winter I would occasionally see this pregnant cat running from behind our house into the woods. Something was wrong with her vocal cords and she made this horrible honking sound. One morning Gage and I thought there was a goose in our backyard, and it turned out to be a stray cat. Then in May we would sometimes hear a meow or two coming from this huge brush pile next to our house. One day this kitten even courageously graced us with its presence.  Two weeks ago a cat came around and I'm fairly certain it's the same kitten from May. I know the kitten is so much darker, but I'm basing it on how when we had the puppies with us they lightened up so much. They started out one color and ended up looking completely different when they were a few months old. Kind of like a black balloon. It looks black until you blow it up, but then you might get grey, or even purple. I could be wrong, who knows.        So this is Frankie, who appears larger in these picture...

"Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it." Matthew 7:13-14 "Two roads diverged in a wood, and I- I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference." -Robert Frost There are two paths. There are only two choices. You are either with God, or you are against him. There is no middle ground, and if we remain lukewarm we will just be spit out. You might think that you can still be a good person without needing a Savior, but that is where you would be wrong. Maybe you think this is unfair. Maybe you think that free will doesn't exist because you never asked to be born. I know I've had that thought many times before. But I've had to humble myself and accept the fact that if I created everything, I would get to make the rules. Instead I am just dust in ...

Another early morning. 3:25 am this time. At least I'm not exhausted, which I guess is a miracle in itself. This morning I used my time to read the book of Ecclesiastes and do some research on frequencies and the effects they can have on our bodies. Certain frequencies have  healing properties ,  and I have been known to use binaural beats to help with migraines. These waves and frequencies certainly can have more of an impact on us than we realize.  Haven't you ever listened to a song that touched you in a surprising way? Maybe you suddenly felt joyful or were immediately crushed with a feeling of despair. There is a belief that Satan was once the  music angel in heaven and so now he uses music as a way to brainwash and manipulate. I mean, if you listen to some of today's music, the theory is not so far fetched.  Low frequency oscillation (LFO) runs on the spectrum of HZ from 0-30,000. The human ear cannot typically hear anything lower than 20 HZ, but we can s...

Tartaria and the mud floods are one of my favorite conspiracies. Hidden history and the changing of time is something I have really dug deep into over the past three or four years. Earlier, during my super early time change morning, I had some time to kill while it was still dark. I was watching a video on  early theme parks and infantoriums . If you are unfamiliar, in the late 1800s/early 1900s premature babies were featured at theme parks. You could go see "live babies in incubators" for a nickel. The money paid for the staff and the parents were able to keep their preemies there for free. 90% of these preemies were saved due to the new incubation technology, but putting them on live view seems a little creepy to me. But we humans are curious, and I know that I'd have gone to a freak show or twenty if I had been born during that generation. Anyway, that's not what this post is about, although I would highly suggest digging into mud floods if you have the time. There...

I knew the time change was going to mess with me. The past few weeks my body has been waking me up a little earlier every day, and this morning  (if you can truly call it that,) I woke up at 3:39 with Parquet Courts "Wide Awake" running through my mind. I tried to go back to sleep, but it was not going to happen. I'm wide awake. Mind so awoke cause my brain never pushed the brake. I'm wide awake. Eyes so open that my vision is as sharp as a blade. I'm no scholar, but I think that song might have to do something with cocaine or stimulants of some kind, which is not the reason I'm wide awake. But if you are familiar with this song, you know it has a bit of a dance-y beat to it, so not only was my mind awake, but my body was wanting to move along too. What is the opposite of an insomniac? Because I have no trouble falling asleep. You know what, I'm just thankful that I can leave my bedroom and have room to move around and not worry about shaking the RV and ma...

I have XM radio in my car. I have my favorite channels, but even my favorites often have terrible songs playing, and sometimes the stations next to each other even have the same song playing at the exact same time. Most days I find myself channel surfing in order to find one or two decent songs on my ten minute drive to the food bank. Just give me some Pink Floyd or the new War on Drugs song. I'm not asking for much.  One day last week I was scrolling and scrolling. I would find a good song right as it was ending. I found myself all the way at Pop2K, which is the greatest pop hits of the early 2000s. Obviously not anything I would ever willingly choose. Black Eyed Peas were on. That 'I Gotta Feeling' song was finishing up and the very next song was Pharrell "Happy."  It was like I was teleported back in time to when Gage was in kindergarten. His teacher would play "Happy" at the end of the day each Friday, and he loved that song. He'd come home and a...

I've got so much free time lately. The kids are pretty self sufficient with school work, aside from math with Owsley. Now that they are older they need me less, or at least the things they need me for take up way less time than the things they needed me for when they were smaller. And with Peppy working from home, there's someone always here with the kids. Even though I don't have a problem with leaving them alone for certain periods of time. Although I volunteer twice a week, we also try to have a schedule to break up our days so they are not so monotonous. I have found this imperative in keeping a semblance of normalcy the past two years. It is interesting that this former happy homebody is looking for more ways to spend my time, because most days I want to climb the walls with restless energy and a mind that cannot concentrate long enough to do the things I used to enjoy. Today I was working a booth for the organization I volunteer for at a community fair for high school...

Bit of a creepy cover of last week's Time magazine, if you ask me. And why is the queen a cardboard cut out. Is she dead? This is like trying to decipher the clues in a Beatles album cover. We've got blizzards, storms, and famine and fires. Then there's Joe Biden, staring off into the oblivion.  *This is a great read. A twenty year truck driver explains why America's  shipping crisis   has no end in sight.  *This is an article from four years ago, but it mentions how vaccines of the future (like as in, now) could be just as  contagious as the virus itself . * Ice Cube   turns down $9 million movie offer due to vaccine mandates.  *5.9  earthquake   hits Indonesia, while thousands are also affected by the  flooding . *34,000 people were trapped inside  Shanghai Disney   after one person tested positive for covid.  *NOAA employee claims there are  evolved humanoids   living at the bottom of the ocean. *Hospitals are...