the end is the beginning

I try not to feel sorry for myself. I really do. But sometimes it hasn't been my day (or month, or even my year.) And sometimes I get the best, or worst, of myself. Or what is left of myself. Like I said, I try not to dwell on my current deficiencies, because if I thought about it too hard it would REALLY bum me out that I couldn't figure out how to spell 'deficiency.' Or how about how I was in the car yesterday singing along to Emo Halloweeno (perhaps the only good thing about XM radio) and I was singing along to this song, and I knew all the lyrics, and then I looked at the band name and realized I had never heard of them before. So how did I know that song? Then a part of my brain slowly caught up and I realized that obviously I had heard of Something Corporate before. They were popular when I was in high school. I could even see the lead singer's face in my mind.  I try to find the humour in it. That's really all I can do. I used to read my bible chronologic...

I didn't realize that Wall-E was a documentary sent to us from the future. I think I've seen Wall-E twice, and while the namesake robot was adorable (I think that was part of the point,) I was left with this general feel of unease. Due to so much personification of inanimate objects in movies, my mind was already prepped to sympathize with lovable robot Wall-E. Then towards the end of the movie you finally see the humans, and they are intended to look infantilized and lazy and make you feel disgusted. Almost like the humans are the villains, even though they literally did nothing but ride around on motor scooters and drink like big babies. They just seem less human than Wall-E and his girlfriend robot do.   Well guys, that's where we are headed. With Meta you can enter the metaverse and you never have to leave. Want a mansion? Unfortunately you can't have that in real life, but you can in Meta! You can have designer clothing and nice cars. You can be your best you. Y...

Here's a break from my typical end of the world posts. Just because. I'm in a mood today. I feel taken advantage of and pulled in a hundred directions at the same time. I was in a mood yesterday too, but it was a different kind of mood. Yesterday was this impending doom feeling. There was a solar flare yesterday, and if I were to get all woo on you, I'd tell you that there are studies claiming things like this can greatly affect your mood. I left the food bank and went into Hometown and impulsively bought a cookie cake, just because. When I got home I must have had a look on my face, because Owsley asked if I would be sharing my cookie cake or if I bought it just for me.  I enjoy hula hooping. I've been doing it for about ten years now. I'm definitely not one of those graceful hoopers who do cool tricks or anything like that, but it is my favorite form of exercise. Sometimes I'll turn on a documentary or devotional. Sometimes I turn on music, and sometimes (most...

I was really excited to go to the My Morning Jacket show this weekend. They are one of my top five bands that I would carry to a deserted island. I have lost count of how many times Peppy and I have seen them over the last 16 years. Many times it was at least once a year. They put on a great show and have amazing energy. We saw them perform with a jazz band once, and it was incredible. I was excited to spend some time with Peppy, because date nights are extremely rare, and even though he's working from home, we legitimately don't see him any more than we used to.  Yesterday morning I was getting ready to go to the food bank and thought I might ought to listen to MMJs newest album. Just like with many of the bands I've enjoyed for years, I prefer their earlier music over their newer stuff (I'm looking at you, Decemberists!), and I hadn't even listened to their newest release at all. I wondered who was opening for them, so I went to the venue website and saw that you ...

Australia's  digital pass  is set go to legislature later this month. If the Digital Identity bill passes, this will end freedom in Australia. Privacy will disappear. Only the extremely rich will be able to afford such a commodity. The Australian Federal Government's digital identity bill is one of the most dangerous pieces of legislation ever put before the Australian Parliament, especially as it is under the guise of being helpful and efficient, therefore putting an even greater divide among the people. If passed, this bill will create a platform for a global identity system (see: global- not only in Australia. They are just the guinea pigs. The dress rehearsal.) This global system will link ALL  our data into a centralized platform. It will be made accessible to government and their accredited partners  (ok, who are those guys?) in the private and public sector, both in Australia and all over the world. This will be a grid that controls and links to everything an...

Whoever you are, wherever you're from, thank you. I started this blog to document my recovery of covid. To attempt to navigate the muddled matter of my mind. I never imagined almost a year later I'd basically be at the same place I started.  I have no clue who reads this blog. I know of maybe six or seven people who regularly read, but I have no idea who some of my visitors from other countries are. I pray often that the Lord will use this blog to open the eyes of anyone searching for the truth. I pray daily for wisdom and understanding. My one goal is to wake up anyone willing to listen- before it is too late. And even though my spelling and grammar have taken a nosedive (you wouldn't believe how many times I proofread,) I am a writer. I always have been. I always will be. Although it is still slightly surreal to not be able to spell the most basic words from time to time. Spelling has always come so naturally to me.  So thank you for returning to my tiny uncensored corner...

I don't really want to mention Alec Baldwin accidentally shooting two people, in the same way I didn't want to talk about Gabby Petito. Both these stories suddenly became sensationalized overnight, even when women like Gabby disappear every single day. (Please realize I'm not making light of any disappearances or murders. It is just odd to me when the media focuses on one particular person or story.) I didn't want to draw any more attention to it. And plus, these families are grieving and the internet is not a collective sleuthing experience, whether we realize that or not. But I will say that I don't understand how a prop gun was loaded. This whole story has more plot holes than a slice of swiss cheese. Hey, random thought. Does anyone remember when Caitlin Jenner killed a woman and NOTHING HAPPENED? *I've talked about nefarious government patents before. Yesterday, or maybe it was the day before, they all run together, someone on reddit posted a  list   of odd...

Please don't force your children to take the covid shot. This is extremely experimental and we have NO CLUE what might make itself manifest in the future due to these vaccines. Watch Dr. Carrie Madej as she talks about what she found in both the Pfizer and the Johnson and Johnson vaccines. This is not normal. There is some organic and synthetic living hybrid that is being intentionally injected into innocent people. People who were scared and desperate for life to go back to normal. People who were forced in order to keep their jobs. People who trusted our government and health officials.  She also discusses the potential transhuman aspect of the vaccine, as well as the possibility of mind control via nanobot. Reality is much stranger than fiction. I didn't even know that a blood clot could look like what is shown. Please share this information with anyone willing to listen. I don't know what can be done, but I think we deserve the knowledge of what is going on.

Peppy's cousin is a general manager at the Cheesecake Factory and they are opening a new store in our area next week. We were invited to have free dinner on one of the training nights. It was an awesome opportunity and we had been looking forward to it for almost a month.  We each got different menus and had to order different things. We also got appetizers and cheesecake. I ordered a salad and it looked like a work of art.  You know what's getting me through life right now? Looking forward to little happy things, like this dinner. Afterwards we went to Barnes and Noble and I saw a new book by Liane Moriarty and immediately placed a hold on it at the local library. Peppy and I also have a My Morning Jacket concert next weekend. The last show we saw was Weird Al almost two and a half years ago. Having things to hang on to gets me through the monotony of the days. Over the past few weekends I've watched The Way Down and Heaven's Gate documentaries on HBO max. I love a goo...

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears. Well, you know, if you have the ears to hear. The coronavirus is a genetically engineered bioweapon (can we agree on that?) created by a hidden ruling class. The past 20 months has systematically broken down willpower, independence, and individuality. By forcing us to wear cloth masks (that do NOTHING)  we are ritualistically molded into compliant and brainwashed zombies. By doing this it helps rid the threat of a major revolution.  At first I was a little suspicious of asymptomatic carriers until Peppy started having long haul symptoms of phantom smells and tastes. The world began to be infected in 2019, and by now its a safe bet to say that if you are not naturally immune, you have covid hanging out in your body. And now the news in claiming there is a super cold that is knocking people out for up to two weeks, as well as the new deadly Nipah virus that is currently in the Indian state of Kerala. It would kind of make sense fo...

*The source for that chart is here . Are covid and the vaccines giving people AIDS? I have had suspicions since May 2020. I rarely ever dream anymore and last week I had a very vivid dream that we all had AIDS. Not that my dream necessarily means anything, but there's also last year's  Wuhan lab leak   to take into consideration. *Anyone remember those patrolling robot dogs from a few months back? Yeah, well now they carry  rifles  on their backs.  *Documents show that Amazon blatantly  stole product ideas from other companies   and rigged the algorithm so that the Amazon products would show up first in your searches.  *China fires a  super sonic nuke   around the Earth. *A US Air Force captain claims that he saw a  giant UFO   disable ten live nukes. *NATO has grand plans to  hack your brain . *The World Economic Forum has listed  36 cities   where they plan to begin Agenda 2030. In America the two location...

We took the kids to Six Flags today. I had read LOTS of recent bad reviews stating that people only got to ride two things over the course of the day, and that it took two hours to leave the park at the end of the night, and so I was a liiiiiittle apprehensive. But we had promised Owsley we would take him, plus Gage decided at Universal that he might actually enjoy rollercoasters. So we were thrilled that he wanted to come along too. He enjoyed himself today too. I'm glad he tried things he was concerned about, because he ended up enjoying everything he tried. (Before Universal, the last *real* rollercoaster Gage had been on was Expedition Everest at Disney World about four years ago. I sat with him and he was basically having a panic attack and pinching my arm the entire time. He refused to ride another one until Hagrid's motorbike ride. I mean, it had been four years. He'd matured and realized they weren't as terrifying as he first thought.) Owsley and I learned over ...

Never ever did I imagine that coronavirus recovery would feel like this. Oh, longhauling. The gift that keeps on giving. I know I repeatedly mention that I can't feel most emotions, but every once in a while I feel this little ball inside of me getting angry. I want to shake my fist at the powers that be and scream out "What did you do to me!?" But I know I'm not alone. Even if many people think all this longhaul stuff is in your head. Which I agree with 100%, because it is in my head. I know massive inflammation due to the virus went to my brain, causing some sort of brain damage. And to be honest, after almost a year of this cycle tricking me into thinking I'm getting better and then suddenly exploding in my face again, I'm resigned that this is it. This is me now. I don't even feel like the same person I was a year ago. And I don't mean this in some sort of existential crisis sort of way. I mean it literally. I do not feel like the old Deanna. My me...

*Up to 85% of covid deaths in New South Wales, Australia are among the  fully vaccinated . Here's a  reddit post   from a user in Australia, talking about some of the draconian measures that are taking place. *Masks are changing how  kids interact . Who couldn't see this one coming? I mean, seriously.  *New York  nursing homes   experiencing staff shortages following the vaccine mandates. *According to the  VAERS website   at least 16,000 people have died from the covid vaccine, and almost 800,000 had adverse reactions.  *Maybe I'm getting too old, but I don't understand paying for something that doesn't even exist. The next fashion trend is with  digital clothing . I guess this way you can look like a slob at home, but add a nice digital outfit to post online. That way you can fool people into thinking you don't always look like a slob, even if you do. *The WHO approves a  malaria vaccine   after 30 years of research. How...

Now for another terrifying edition of "What is in the vial?" If you thought the previous videos were horrible, meet "The Thing."  I'm not trying to make fun of anyone that has been vaccinated, because seriously, we are all in this together. We've all been tricked in one way or another and we're all definitely slowly being poisoned. Between the masks, the nose swab tests and the vaccine combined, they've infected so many people with nanoparticles and parasites. This is not the time that we turn against each other and choose sides. We need to love each other, despite our differences, and acknowledge that we've all been duped. We are not each other's enemies, and I'm not sure exactly when that shift in humanity begin- when we began to believe we had to hate each other if we were different.  If you are one of the lucky ones who received a vial with 'the thing,' now what? Are you just supposed to wait for it to grow and take over? I do...

There is a major city about an hour from where we live. During the weekends Peppy will often uber in that city. Last night he called me and said he had three rides in a row that were leaving the airport due to cancelled flights. The media is reporting these flights cancelled due to weather, which is a lie. Flights across America are being cancelled because the pilots, crew and other Southwest employees are refusing to comply to the vaccine mandates, and therefore they are short of staff and cannot pilot all the scheduled flights. Over the weekend the company cancelled 1800 flights (28% of its schedule.) The pilots and crew are saying no, and in order to save face the Southwest Airlines company wants to blame it on the weather. To put in perspective, there were other airlines that cancelled flights due to weather, but it was only about 4%.  I am glad that these pilots and crew members are standing up for what they believe in. I hope and pray that others are inspired to follow their ...

What is the purpose of life? What is the purpose of MY life? Man, I have asked myself that hundreds, if not thousands of times over my life. It seems like I've been on a lifelong quest to determine exactly why I was born. Chemical imbalances in my brain can make me question why I have to even exist, but my faith leads me to believe that even though I was a 'whoops baby,' my life was no accident. I am here for a reason. You are here for a reason.  "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart." -Jeremiah 1:5 Although this particular verse was spoken in regards to the prophet Jeremiah, I believe this sentiment holds true to every single person in the world. The Lord knew your life before it even began. He saw its entirety laid out before him. This is not to say that he orchestrated every single thing that will happen to you, because that would make free will invalid. I'm just saying that he saw it all, the good, the bad, the u...

I don't know anything about Stew Peters. I had never even heard of him until I posted the video about what the doctors were finding in the vaccine vials . Today I am sharing another video that was passed along to me. This time of a doctor who has been examining the blood of some of her vaccinated patients.  I keep thinking about Leviticus 17:11, "for the life of the creature is in the blood." The life force is being tampered with. Is this intentional? Well, I believe so. It is surreal to think about. I want it all to be fake so badly, but my instinct says this is all real. No wonder we are seeing so many heart related problems. And to think that the vaccinated are now being gaslighted to think their symptoms are just anxiety. We are not seeing real numbers of vaccine related deaths and injuries. It's all being swept under the rug. I think I'd be taking a daily baby aspirin, although I'm not sure if that would even do much good. 

*Hospital system says it will deny transplants to the  unvaccinated   in most cases. Unvaccinated organ donor here. If I have two of something that you need, just hit me up. Please just ask first, and don't gas me and take matters into your own hands. I don't want to randomly wake up in a bathtub filled with ice. *China PCR test orders soared  before   the first positive covid case was even announced. And according to a proposal, the US and Chinese researchers planned to  create a new coronavirus   back in 2018. *Justin Bieber is launching his new business of  pre-rolled joints .  *There sure are a lot of  heart attacks and inflammation   on the rise. I wonder what could be causing it.....Here's a list of  soccer players   who have suddenly collapsed from heart related issues. This is a huge list y'all. Some  Canadian hockey players   are also having to sit out due to heart problems. *First, Vice President Harris was ...

Thank you, fortune cookie. Sometimes I do wonder. I don't know what to think about yesterday's brief social media blackout. No one in my house uses social media other than the kids' discord accounts. I haven't had a facebook account in almost ten years, and I legitimately have zero urge to log into instagram anymore, so I had no clue that there was even a blackout going on until I heard about it on the radio yesterday afternoon. I can imagine influencers and MLM boss babes obsessively refreshing their apps yesterday. What do you do when you suddenly cannot post every waking thought for your hoards of followers? I do find it a little suspicious that the World Economic Forum held their  Cyber Polygon   cyber attack simulation three months ago. Reminds me of how the Bill and Melinda Gates foundation held their coronavirus simulation in October 2019, and then WHAM- covid. Oh, but that's just coincidence, right? I don't know if yesterday was a distraction from the pa...

This past weekend I've been thinking about what it means for everyone if the videos of the animate particles in the vaccines are real. Let's imagine that those particles were put in the vials intentionally. We have the questions of who is doing this? Why are they doing this? What exactly are those particles? And what is the end goal? Actually, I do think I understand the long term goal of population reduction, but in the short term, what does it all mean?  Are the particles the reason we've seen so many people collapsing from dehydration and heart problems? Are the particles causing blood clots and inflammation? Is this why cancer seems to be returning in so many people? Are we headed towards a reality similar to the movies The Faculty or Invasion of the Body Snatchers? The CDC pretends like their  zombie preparedness  page is a joke, but come on, really? Most people are basically zombies already anyway, living in a trance all of their waking hours, being controlled by wh...

Yesterday I watched some videos of scientists and doctors all over the world who are finding suspicious and terrifying material in the vaccines. And not just one particular one type of vaccine either. Moderna, Pfizer, and Johnson & Johnson were all mentioned as having strange moving particles in the solution. If you have not seen this yet, please watch for yourself and share these videos with anyone willing to listen.  See for yourself. Pray for discernment. What are they doing to us?? This Rockefeller University article from four years shows that the  technology to remotely control the brain   already exists. If that was possible four years ago, what do you think it looks like today?  Pay no attention to the alien embryos title, but just listen to what she says and the photographs she shows. There is definitely something living in these vials. Something that lies dormant when it's cold, but comes to life in warmer temperatures.  Here is another video with...

Ever wonder how long it takes to destroy the old world? Less than two years, apparently. In less than two years everything that we've known and been taught has been ruined. The futures we imagined. The dreams we had. I don't blame this younger generation for being angry and upset. I am grieving for them. (Because sadness is the only emotion I can feel, and even then, it is definitely a very subdued feeling.)  In twenty months we've learned to be paranoid of our fellow man, and to segregate ourselves from anyone who does not follow the proposed media narrative. We've been conditioned to live in fear and to blindly follow the government, which is a little insane to me, because they have a great track record of not putting the best interests of the citizens first.  I believe a bioweapon has been released upon us, in the name of coronavirus. I don't believe this was organic at all, and I *know* this has been in the works for a long, long time. I believe each individual ...